Treach­er­ous Trip Tips

HK Magazine - - PAGE 3 -

Two mem­bers of the pro-main­land China-Aus­tralia Le­gal Ex­change Foun­da­tion were forced to re­sign this week, af­ter me­dia re­ported on them en­joy­ing them­selves in a KTV lounge with uniden­ti­fied women while on an of­fi­cial trip to Bei­jing. The boys are in trou­ble—but the thing is, they were just do­ing it wrong. Here’s how you should nav­i­gate treach­er­ous China trips.

Ban­quets.

At a large ban­quet or meal, you will be ex­pected to eat a bit of ev­ery­thing and drink a large amount of al­co­hol as ev­ery­one sit­ting around the ta­ble is toasted with a hearty “gan­bei!” How­ever, it is frowned upon to re­quest te­quila, lime and salt in­stead of mao­tai or Chivas.

Sight­see­ing.

You will be taken to see many items you are not in­ter­ested in see­ing. Stick with it, be­cause it is rude to blow off your hosts. Just keep your mind on the prize: All those hot, hot KTV host­ess girls no one will ever find out about.

Busi­ness Cards.

Just as in Hong Kong, busi­ness cards are not to be taken lightly. Ac­cept and present them out with two hands, and leave the card on the ta­ble dur­ing a meeting or meal. That way if the meeting goes badly, you can the­atri­cally set fire to the small pile you’ve ac­cu­mu­lated on the ta­ble be­fore storm­ing out.

Face.

Again, just as in Hong Kong, the giv­ing and re­ceiv­ing of

“face” is vi­tal. For­tu­nately, the rise of global on­line busi­ness makes giv­ing gift cards from Korean plas­tic surgery clin­ics eas­ier than ever. Guanxi.

Chi­nese busi­ness and pol­i­tics works on “guanxi”—that mix of per­sonal con­nec­tion and loy­alty that can only be gained by fre­quent win­ing-and-din­ing and re­la­tion­ship-build­ing. To truly lock in your guanxi, con­sider fram­ing your coun­ter­part for an il­le­gal ac­tiv­ity which you can sub­se­quently make dis­ap­pear, earn­ing you undy­ing loy­alty. Have you con­sid­ered film­ing them in fla­grante with a KTV host­ess?

June 4th.

Maybe… just don’t say any­thing about this for any rea­son. Why even would you?

KTV.

This is the big one. The way you com­port your­self at KTV is the dif­fer­ence be­tween po­lit­i­cal suc­cess and ca­reer sui­cide. KTV hostesses will be charm­ing and you will be tempted to re­cip­ro­cate their at­ten­tions, which could have po­ten­tially dis­as­trous con­se­quences. Avoid the is­sue by mak­ing use of the new Facebook Live video stream­ing func­tion. By broad­cast­ing the in­iq­uity of your col­leagues in real-time to the whole world, then at least YOU won’t ap­pear in the video. Your fu­ture suc­cess is guar­an­teed.

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