Hong Kong, Cream Your­self

HK Magazine - - PAGE 3 -

In­ter­na­tional cos­met­ics brand Lancôme made the news when it dropped lo­cal pro-democ­racy singer Denise Ho, aka HOCC, from a brand pro­mo­tion con­cert in the city fol­low­ing protests and a threat­ened prod­uct boy­cott from main­land ne­ti­zens. This has in turn sparked protests and threats of a boy­cott in Hong Kong. Amid the con­tro­versy we see an op­por­tu­nity for the per­fect Hong Kong beauty line—in stores this week!

Su­per SAR Serum

This re­fined blend up­lifts and re­vi­tal­izes your loy­alty to the pow­ers that be, cut­ting away un­sightly ide­al­ism.

Bad De­ci­sion Essence Cream

Dis­tilled prod­uct that al­lows you to out­rage most of Asia while sit­ting in com­pany HQ think­ing, “What the hell did I do?”

MX-II

Buy one get one at all Maxim’s restau­rants. Nice.

Bleach-U-White

Lit­er­ally bleach, to be ap­plied lib­er­ally to the skin in hopes of whiten­ing it. This prod­uct is cur­rently un­der review and its cre­ators un­der ar­rest.

An­cient Re­store and Re­vive For­mula

Ne­cro­man­tic phial which will re­call from the dead a Chi­nese state leader of your choice. Use with cau­tion. For sale in Hong Kong only. The Peo­ple’s Pla­centa

Pla­centa pills are all the rage these days, be­cause they are said to boost a mother’s post­par­tum ex­pe­ri­ence. This pill, har­vested from the pla­cen­tas of all main­land moth­ers, will soon have you think­ing along more so­cially de­sir­able lines.

Moob-in-a-Bot­tle

There are al­ready prod­ucts on sale in Hong Kong which claim to en­large your breasts. This prod­uct is just re­branded, calo­riepacked beer which is sure to in­crease the size of your moobs.

Pro-Dem Trans­former Eye­drops

Dis­tilled from the sweat of the DAB’s most promi­nent cam­paign­ers, just two drops in the eyes of any pro-democ­racy cam­paigner will im­me­di­ately have them see­ing the world in a dif­fer­ent, more pro-es­tab­lish­ment light. Re-ap­ply hourly or com­mon sense may be­gin to re­assert it­self.

Just a Big Ol’ Stick of Gin­seng

No one re­ally knows what it does. But you can charge a lot for it, so that’ll be $8,888, please.

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