HK Pokézine Pokétips!

HK Magazine - - NEWS -

Some­times, in our ca­pac­ity as a Hong Kong in­sti­tu­tion and bea­con of im­pec­ca­ble class and in­tegrity, we have to draw a line in the prover­bial sand. We wish to af­firm that we view all forms of band­wagon jump­ing with the ut­most con­tempt. It was not with­out dis­dain, there­fore, that we noted the re­lease of Poké­mon Go in Hong Kong this week. In­deed, this per­ni­cious, ma­te­ri­al­ist scourge is all any­one’s talk­ing about. So here we grudg­ingly present some point­ers to en­sure your Hong Kong Poké­mon Go ex­pe­ri­ence is the very best it can be.

1) Look Around You

Poké­mon can be found in the most un­usual of places. Have you tried the oc­cu­pied stall next to you in the bath­room?

2) Find the Best Spots

The Hong Kong-Shen­zhen Bor­der is a gold­mine of Poké­mon. Sim­ply head over and sprint from one side to the other as you try to catch ‘em all, while evad­ing bor­der guards who will be equally in­tent on catch­ing you.

3) Use Lures Prop­erly

Lures are in-game items which draw Poké­mon out of hid­ing for all play­ers. Protest or­ga­niz­ers dis­ap­pointed with the turnout of the re­cent July 1 march need only set lures on a path from Vic­to­ria Park to the gov­ern­ment of­fices at Ta­mar. At­ten­dance is bound to top 500,000.

4) Use it to Get Laid

A late night, a beau­ti­ful moon­lit sky, the fra­grant scent of Frangi­pani and garbage waft­ing on the breeze... and 50 other peo­ple in a park star­ing at their phones. If you can’t pick up here, you re­ally have to work on your (real-life) game. Sug­gested pick-up line: “Is that a Wee­dle on your touch­screen or are you just happy to see me?” 5) Play it at Work

Bosses may be frown­ing on your long ab­sences away from your desk, but ex­perts con­sider a healthy work-Go bal­ance to be es­sen­tial. Con­sider suggest­ing group team-build­ing ex­er­cises con­structed around an hour’s worth of Poké­mon Go at your of­fice. Noth­ing says “flat or­ga­ni­za­tional struc­ture” like the com­pany CEO dart­ing around the pantry in search of that elu­sive Beedrill.

6) Join the Po­lice

The po­lice force has had to set up a spe­cial de­tail to deal with the ex­plo­sive pop­u­lar­ity of the app, and they’ll have their eye on high Poké-traf­fic zones to pre­vent ac­ci­dents. Which means that, yes, there’s a Poké Squad which gets paid to play Poké­mon Go. Who needs a Pokéball when you can just pep­per spray Pikachu into sub­mis­sion?

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