Free Will As­trol­ogy


VIRGO (Aug 23-Sep 22):

Cau­tion: You may soon be ex­posed to out­breaks of peace, in­tel­li­gence, and mu­tual ad­mi­ra­tion. Sweet sat­is­fac­tions might erupt un­ex­pect­edly. Rous­ing con­nec­tions could be­come al­most rou­tine, and use­ful rev­e­la­tions may pro­lif­er­ate. Are you pre­pared to fully ac­cept this surge of grace? Or will you be sus­pi­cious of the chance to feel soul­fully suc­cess­ful? I hope you can find a way to at least tem­po­rar­ily adopt an al­most com­i­cally ex­pan­sive op­ti­mism. That might be a good way to en­sure you’re not blind­sided by de­light.

LI­BRA (Sep 23-Oct 22):

“Brain­wash­ing” is a word with neg­a­tive con­no­ta­tions. It refers to an in­ten­sive in­doc­tri­na­tion that scours away a per­son’s con­vic­tions and re­places them with a new set of rigid be­liefs. But I’d like to pro­pose an al­ter­na­tive def­i­ni­tion for your use in the com­ing days. Ac­cord­ing to my as­tro­log­i­cal anal­y­sis, you now have an ex­tra­or­di­nary power to thor­oughly wash your own brain -- thereby flush­ing away toxic thoughts and trashy at­ti­tudes that might have col­lected there. I in­vite you to have max­i­mum fun as you make your in­ner land­scape clean and sparkly.

SCOR­PIO (Oct 23-Nov 21):

My as­tro­log­i­cal div­ina­tions sug­gest that a light­ning storm is headed your way, metaphor­i­cally speak­ing. But it shouldn’t in­con­ve­nience you much—un­less you do the equiv­a­lent of get­ting drunk, stum­bling out into the waste­land, and scream­ing curses to­ward heaven. (I don’t rec­om­mend that.) For best re­sults, con­sider this ad­vice: Take shel­ter from the storm, prefer­ably in your fa­vorite sanc­tu­ary. Treat your­self to more si­lence and seren­ity than you usu­ally do. Med­i­tate with the re­laxed fe­roc­ity of a Zen monk high on Sub­lime Empti­ness. Got all that? Now here’s the best part: Com­pose a play­fully edgy mes­sage to God, telling Her about all the sit­u­a­tions you want Her to help you trans­form dur­ing the next 12 months.

SAGIT­TAR­IUS (Nov 22-Dec 21):

Nov­el­ist Tom Rob­bins said this about my work: “I’ve seen the fu­ture of Amer­i­can lit­er­a­ture and its name is Rob Brezsny.” Os­car-win­ning ac­tress Marisa Tomei tes­ti­fied, “Rob Brezsny gets my nom­i­na­tion for best prophet in a star­ring role. He’s a script doc­tor for the soul.” Grammy Award-win­ning singer-song­writer Ja­son Mraz de­clared, “Rob Brezsny writes ev­ery­body’s fa­vorite as­trol­ogy col­umn. I dig him for his pow­er­ful yet play­ful in­sights, his po­etry and his hu­mor.” Are you fed up with my boasts yet, Sagit­tar­ius? I will spare you from fur­ther dis­plays of ego­ma­nia un­der one con­di­tion: You have to brag about your­self a lot in the com­ing days — and not just with un­der­stated lit­tle chirps and peeps. Your ex­pres­sions of self-ap­pre­ci­a­tion must be lush, flam­boy­ant, ex­ul­tant, witty, and sin­cere.

CAPRI­CORN (Dec 22-Jan 19):

By nor­mal stan­dards, your progress should be vig­or­ous in the com­ing weeks. You may score a new priv­i­lege, in­crease your in­flu­ence, or forge a con­nec­tion that boosts your abil­ity to at­tract de­sir­able re­sources. But ac­com­plish­ments like those will be sec­ondary to an even more cru­cial bench­mark: Will you un­der­stand your­self bet­ter? Will you cul­ti­vate a more ro­bust aware­ness of your strengths and weak­nesses, your needs and your du­ties? Will you get clear about what you have to learn and what you have to jet­ti­son?

AQUAR­IUS (Jan 20-Feb 19):

I’m con­fi­dent that you would never try to sneak through cus­toms with co­caine-laced goat meat or a hun­dred live taran­tu­las or some equally pro­hib­ited con­tra­band. Please use sim­i­lar cau­tion as you gear up for your rite of pas­sage or metaphor­i­cal bor­der cross­ing. Your in­ten­tions should be pure and your con­science clear. Any bag­gage you take with you should be free of non­sense and delu­sions. To en­sure the best pos­si­ble out­come, arm your­self with the high­est ver­sion of brave love that you can imag­ine.

PISCES (Feb 18-Mar 20):

Should you be wor­ried if you have fan­tasies of se­duc­ing a de­ity, an­gel, or su­per­hero? Will it be weird if some night soon you dream of an erotic ren­dezvous with a mer­maid, satyr, or cen­taur? I say no. In fact, I’d re­gard events like these as healthy signs. They would sug­gest that you’re ready to tap into mythic and ma­jes­tic yearn­ings that have been buried deep in your psy­che. They might mean your imag­i­na­tion wants to steer you to­ward ex­pe­ri­ences that will en­er­gize the smart an­i­mal within you. And this would be in ac­cor­dance with the most ex­alted cos­mic ten­den­cies. Try say­ing this af­fir­ma­tion: “I am bril­liantly pri­mal. I am wildly wise. I am di­vinely sur­pris­ing.”

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 19):

What should you do if your al­lies get bogged down by ex­cess cau­tion or lazy pro­cras­ti­na­tion? Here’s what I ad­vise: Don’t con­front them or be­rate them. In­stead, cheer­fully do what must be done with­out their help. And what ac­tion should you take if medi­ocrity be­gins to creep into col­lab­o­ra­tive projects? Try this: Fig­ure out how to re­store ex­cel­lence, and cheer­fully make it hap­pen. And how should you pro­ceed if the world around you seems to have fallen prey to fear-in­duced apathy or courage-shrink­ing numb­ness? My sug­ges­tion: Cheer­fully kick the world’s butt—with gen­tle but firm good hu­mor.

TAU­RUS (Apr 20-May 20):

For the fore­see­able fu­ture, your main duty is to be in love. Rowdily and in­no­cently in love. Metic­u­lously and shrewdly in love. In love with whom or what? Ev­ery­one and ev­ery­thing—or at least with as much of ev­ery­one and ev­ery­thing as you can man­age. I re­al­ize this is a breath­tak­ing as­sign­ment that will re­quire you to push beyond some of your lim­i­ta­tions and con­jure up al­most su­per­hu­man lev­els of gen­eros­ity. But that’s ex­actly what the cos­mic omens sug­gest is nec­es­sary if you want to break through to the next ma­jor chap­ter of your life story.

GEM­INI (May 21-Jun 20):

What do you hope to be when you are all grown up, Gem­ini? An ir­re­sistible charmer who is beloved by many and owned by none? A mas­ter multi-tasker who’s paid well for the art of never be­ing bored? A ver­sa­tile vir­tu­oso who is skilled at bro­ker­ing truces and mak­ing matches and tin­ker­ing with unique blends? The com­ing weeks will be a fa­vor­able time to en­ter­tain fan­tasies like these—to dream about your fu­ture suc­cess and hap­pi­ness. You are likely to gen­er­ate good for­tune for your­self as you brain­storm and play with the plea­sur­able pos­si­bil­i­ties. I in­vite you to be as cre­ative as you dare.

CAN­CER (Jun 21-Jul 22):

“Dear Soul Doc­tor: I have been try­ing my best to body-surf the flood of feel­ings that swept me away a few weeks ago. So far I haven’t drowned! That’s good news, right? But I don’t know how much longer I can stay afloat. It’s hard to main­tain so much con­cen­tra­tion. The power and vol­ume of the surge doesn’t seem to be abat­ing. Are there any signs that I won’t have to do this for­ever? Will I even­tu­ally reach dry land?—Ca­reen­ing Crab.” Dear Ca­reen­ing: Five or six more days, at the most: You won’t have to hold out longer than that. Dur­ing this last stretch, see if you can en­joy the ride more. Re-imag­ine your jour­ney as a ram­bunc­tious ad­ven­ture rather than a har­row­ing or­deal. And re­mem­ber to feel grate­ful: Not many peo­ple have your ca­pac­ity to feel so deeply.

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 22):

If there can be such a thing as a tri­umphant loss, you will achieve it some­time soon. If any­one can slink in through the back door but make it look like a grand en­trance, it’s you. I am in awe of your po­ten­tial to achieve aus­pi­cious re­ver­sals and medic­i­nal re­def­i­ni­tions. Plain old sim­ple jus­tice may not be avail­able, but I bet you’ll be able to con­jure up some un­ruly jus­tice that’s just as valu­able. To as­sist you in your cagey ma­neu­vers, I of­fer this ad­vice: Don’t let your prow­ess make you over­con­fi­dent, and al­ways look for ways to use your so-called li­a­bil­i­ties to your ad­van­tage.So please sum­mon more for­ti­tude and stay­ing power, you gutsy stal­wart. Be staunch and dogged and res­o­lute, you stout­hearted pow­er­house.

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