Three Dreams

三个理想

Special Focus - - Contents - Xu Xian­glin 徐向林

On the bank of Rhine River, young Ryan in­tended to jump into the river to end his life. He was nearly 30 years old and felt he was a man of lit­tle ac­com­plish­ment and he was pen­ni­less. Even worse, he had a homely wife at home. Ryan was sick of his damned life. One priest then asked, “So what are your dreams?” Ryan an­swered with­out hes­i­ta­tion, “I ac­tu­ally had three dreams, to be a su­per rich man like Mr. Wright, to be­come a high-rank­ing of­fi­cial like Mr. Speare, and to marry a gor­geous wife like Ms. Breece.” The priest said, “That’s easy, please follow me.”

The priest first led Ryan to Mr. Wright's sump­tu­ous man­sion where Ryan saw the rich man ly­ing on the bed and cough­ing a lot with a sallow and life­less face. In­side the golden sil­ver bed­pan was spu­tum mixed with a trace of blood. The priest turned around and said, “Mr. Wright sought wealth for his whole life at the cost of his health. Fi­nally, he got what he wanted, yet he had tired him­self out. More ter­ri­bly, he did not even know his three sons were pray­ing for his death in or­der to re­ceive their share of in­her­i­tance ear­lier.”

Then, they to­gether came to Mr. Speare’s of­fice only to find Mr. Speare sur­rounded by body­guards. It is quite nor­mal that the body­guards would taste the foods be­fore Mr. Speare had a meal; that the body­guards would stare at him with eyes wide open while Mr. Speare was sleep­ing and they crouched with him down even when Mr. Speare was us­ing the toi­let. The priest re­vealed to Ryan: “Be­cause Mr. Speare had many po­lit­i­cal op­po­nents, he would be as­sas­si­nated if he did not take no­tice. More­over, even when walk­ing in the street, he has these body­guards fol­low­ing. See­ing it, Ryan sighed, So, does it seem that Mr. Speare is like a prisoner?”

Ms. Breece, who was the most pop­u­lar and sexy fe­male film star of the time, was shout­ing at a Philip­pine maid in her home. Un­ex­pect­edly, she even pricked the maid with a lit cig­a­rette. The maid’s skin un­doubt­edly blis­tered. The maid asked, “Madam, Mr. Burger is re­quest­ing to see you.” Ms. Breece sneered, “Just let him go. I de­cided to di­vorce him to­day and we no longer have a re­la­tion­ship. By the way, tell him that I am go­ing to get mar­ried to my 12th hus­band to­mor­row.” Then she slammed the door in the maid’s face.

Ryan was star­tled and could not ut­ter a word. The priest im­me­di­ately asked: “Young man, you can pick out one of your three dreams and I am sure you can make it.” Ryan thought for a while, re­ply­ing, “Many thanks, my dear father, I ac­tu­ally don’t need any­thing. Com­pared with Mr. Wright, I pos­sess health that he can’t buy with his money; com­pared with Mr. Speare, I own the free­dom which he doesn’t have; as for Ms. Breece, my wife is more vir­tu­ous than her.”

在莱茵河畔,青年莱恩欲跳河一死。他认为自己河一死。他认为自己年近 30岁一事无成,一文不名,家里还有个家里还有个看了恶心的黄脸婆,这样的日子受够够了。牧师问道:“那么你的理想是什什么呢?”莱恩说:“我曾经有三个理想,想,做像怀特那样的超级大富翁,做像斯皮像斯皮尔那样的高官,娶布蕾丝那样的漂亮女漂亮女人做妻子。”牧师说:“这很容易,你跟我来吧!”

牧师领着莱恩先来到超级富翁怀特的豪宅,只见他正躺在床上大声咳嗽,脸色蜡黄,面前的金盆里是他刚吐过的带血丝的痰。牧师转身对莱恩说:“怀特先生不惜牺牲自己的健康追求财富,结果财富得到了,他却累倒了,他还不知道三个儿子正祈祷他早日升天,好早日继承遗产呢。”

两人又来到斯皮尔的官邸,只见他身边围着几个人,显然是保镖。斯皮尔吃饭,保镖先尝;斯皮尔睡觉,保然是保镖。斯皮尔吃饭,保镖先尝;斯皮尔睡觉,保镖都瞪大了眼睛盯着他;就是斯皮尔上厕所,都瞪大了眼睛盯着他;就是斯皮尔上厕所,他们也在马桶旁蹲着。牧师对莱恩说:“斯们也在马桶旁蹲着。牧师对莱恩说:“斯皮尔的政敌很多,稍不注意就要遭到尔的政敌很多,稍不注意就要遭到黑手,他就是上街散步,保镖都寸手,他就是上街散步,保镖都寸步不离。”莱恩失望地说:“那不离。”莱恩失望地说:“那他和蹲监狱有什么两样?”和蹲监狱有什么两样?”

在当代最红、最性感感的的女明星布蕾丝家里,布蕾丝明星布蕾丝家里,布蕾丝正冲一位菲律宾佣人大发冲一位菲律宾佣人大发 脾气,她甚至拿起手里的烟头朝佣人身上扎,佣人的皮肤很快起了泡。女佣说:“小姐,伯格先生求见。”布蕾丝眼皮也不抬地吩咐道:“叫他滚出去,今天我已经和他离婚了,与他什么关系也没有了。顺便带个信儿给他,明天我就要和我的第12任丈夫结婚了。”说完,“啪”一声关上了房门。莱恩看得目瞪口呆。牧师问莱恩:“小伙莱恩看得目瞪口呆。牧师问莱恩:“小伙子,三个理想,你随便挑一个,我都可以三个理想,你随便挑一个,我都可以替你实现。”莱恩想了一会儿,说:实现。”莱恩想了一会儿,说:“不,牧师,其实我什么也不缺牧师,其实我什么也不缺,与怀特先生相比,我有他所怀特先生相比,我有他所有金钱都买不来的健康,与钱都买不来的健康,与斯皮尔先生相比,我有他所尔先生相比,我有他所没有的自由,至于布蕾丝嘛的自由,至于布蕾丝嘛,我老婆可比她贤淑老婆可比她贤淑善良多了…多了……”

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