YOU'VE GOT QUES­TIONS? SHE'S GOT AN­SWERS

(BUT YOU PROB­A­BLY WON'T LIKE THEM)

The World of Chinese - - Tea Leaves -

Dear Ayi, I’ve just took the gaokao and need to choose a ma­jor for univer­sity. My goal is to make a lot of money. What do you rec­om­mend? Am­bi­tious Andy Go­ing to univer­sity is浪费时间( l3ngf-i sh!ji`n, a waste of time)! I have sev­eral child­hood friends who be­came百万富翁( b2i­w3n f&w8ng, mil­lion­aires) with­out wast­ing a sin­gle day in col­lege. They chose to be社会人( sh-hu#r9n, “so­ci­ety per­sons”), and learned some of the most valu­able lessons among江湖( ji`ngh%, “rivers and lakes”), like take short­cuts, cut cor­ners, and get ahead. Granted—quite a few of them are in jail now, but hey,出来混,迟早要还的。( ch$lai h&n, ch! z2o y3o hu1n de. sooner or later, you pay for what you do). In this day and age, you'll get rich quick by bor­row­ing money from your par­ents and rel­a­tives to炒房( ch2of1ng, spec­u­late in real es­tate). I am sit­ting on a crappy hu­tong home within the Sec­ond Ring Road that's worth tens of mil­lions, and I sure as heck didn't go to univer­sity. So stop ask­ing me愚蠢的( y%ch^n de, stupid) ques­tions! Think about why you re­ally need a higher ed­u­ca­tion—to save you from be­ing脑子进水( n2ozi j#nshu@, “a flooded brain,” mo­ronic), for one.

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