JUST FOR LAUGHS

Fiji Sun - - Sunfun -

Mom’s call

I was sound asleep when the tele­phone jarred me awake. “Hi!” It was my peppy mother-in-law. She pro­ceeded to rat­tle on about the busy day she had ahead and all the things that awaited her the rest of the week. “Mom,” I in­ter­rupted. “It’s five in the morn­ing.” “Re­ally? What are you do­ing up so early?”

What she taught me

Logic: “If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can’t go to the store with me.” Hu­mor: “When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don’t come run­ning to me.” Jus­tice: “One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you’ll see what it’s like!”

Per­fect tim­ing

On va­ca­tion in Hawaii, my step- mom, Sandy, called a cafe to make reser­va­tions for 7 p.m. Check­ing her book, the cheery young host­ess said, “I’m sorry, all we have is 6:45. Would you like that?” “That’s fine,” Sandy said. “Okay,” the woman con­firmed. Then she added, “Just be ad­vised you may have to wait 15 min­utes for your ta­ble.”

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