JUST FOR LAUGHS

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Say What, Dad?

Our Gen-X daugh­ter, Cristie, made my hus­band a Fa­ther’s Day card en­ti­tled “Things My Dad Would Never Say” such as: “Can you turn up the mu­sic?” “Go ahead and take my truck. Here’s 50 bucks for gas.” “Here, you take the re­mote.”

I gave my fa­ther $100

I gave my fa­ther $100 and said, “Buy your­self some­thing that will make your life eas­ier.” So he went out and bought a present for my mother.

Big Is­sues

Our pri­est asked how things were go­ing with my fa­ther. “Well, he has is­sues,” I replied, then shared a few de­tails. Af­ter lis­ten­ing, he said, “Is­sues? Sounds like he’s got a year’s sub­scrip­tion.”

A lot of work for noth­ing

My wife asked me to help one of our neigh­bours, a young mother whose sailor hus­band was at sea. Her car had to have some­thing called a freeze plug re­placed—a job that took two days. Then I dis­cov­ered the bat­tery was dead and the starter was shot, so I fixed those too. Days later I proudly handed the woman her keys say­ing, “Now your car is good for many more miles.” “Thanks,” she said. “All I care is that it runs long enough to make it to the dealer. I’m trad­ing it in to­mor­row.”

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