JUST FOR LAUGHS
My sister didn’t do as well on her driver’s-educational test as she’d hoped. It might have had something to do with how she completed this sentence: “When the ______ is dead, the car won’t start.” She wrote: “Driver.”
Spotted on Facebook
Student: I don’t understand why my grade was so low. How did I do on my research paper? Teacher: Actually, you didn’t turn in a research paper. You turned in a random assemblage of sentences. In fact, the sentences you apparently kidnapped in the dead of night and forced into this violent and arbitrary plan of yours clearly seemed to be placed on the pages against their will. Reading your paper was like watching unfamiliar, uncomfortable people interacting at a cocktail party that no one wanted to attend in the first place. You didn’t submit a research paper. You submitted a hostage situation.
Worst Claims Ever
If you were an auto insurer, would you have paid these actual claims? “In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.” “I didn’t think the speed limit applied after midnight.” “The car in front hit the pedestrian, but he got up so I hit him again.”