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Be like Mario

Do not be racist; be like Mario. He’s an Ital­ian plumber, who was made by the Ja­panese, speaks English, looks like a Mex­i­can, jumps like a black man, and grabs coins like a Jew!

The Prayer

Two guys are walk­ing through a game park and they come across a lion that has not eaten for days. The lion starts chas­ing the two men.

They run as fast as they can and the one guy starts get­ting tired and de­cides to say a prayer, “Please turn this lion into a Chris­tian, Lord.” He looks to see if the lion is still chas­ing and he sees the lion on its knees.

Happy to see his prayer an­swered, he turns around and heads to­wards the lion.

As he comes closer to the lion, he hears the it say­ing a prayer: “Thank you Lord for the food I am about to re­ceive.”

The proof

A man went to his lawyer and told him, “My neigh­bor owes me $500 and he won’t pay up. What should I do?” “Do you have any proof he owes you the money?” asked the lawyer. “Nope,” replied the man.

“OK, then write him a let­ter ask­ing him for the $5,000 he owed you,” said the lawyer. “But it’s only $500,” replied the man. “Pre­cisely.

That’s what he will re­ply and then you’ll have your proof!”

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