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Be­ware the bush

Moses was walk­ing down the street when he bumped into Ge­orge W. Bush. “Hello,” Bush said. “Nice weather we’re hav­ing, huh?” Moses took one look at the Pres­i­dent, turned, and ran in the other di­rec­tion.

The next day Moses was walk­ing down the same street and there was Bush.

Again he tried to ini­ti­ate a con­ver­sa­tion.

Again Moses turned and ran away.

Bush was tired of this bizarre treat­ment, so the next time Moses ran away from him, Bush fol­lowed.

When he caught up, he asked Moses what was wrong.

Moses said, “The last time I talked to a bush I spent 40 years in the desert.”

Sun­screen mishap

My fa­ther, a Navy man, had the good for­tune to be sta­tioned in Hawaii — but the bad for­tune to have fair skin.

One day, af­ter spend­ing many hours un­der the hot sun, he re­ported back to duty with a ter­ri­ble sun­burn. Ex­pect­ing sym­pa­thy, he was, in­stead, rep­ri­manded by his su­pe­ri­ors and then writ­ten up for “de­struc­tion of govern­ment prop­erty.”

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