FIJI SUN | SUNDAY, JULY 26, 2020 | FIJISUN.COM.FJ Jokes weather / tv guides JUST FOR LAUGHS A GREAT UNCLE The first thing I did when I heard our greatgranddaughter was born was to text my son: “You are a great uncle!” He texted me back immediately: “Thank you. What did I do?” I WANT THE LEFT SIDE As my two sons were climbing into the back seat of our car, Eric, five, yelled, “I call the left side!” That didn’t sit well with Ron, four. “No, I want the left side!” “I want the left side!” “No, I want the left side!” Intervening, I said, “Since Eric is older, he can have the left side.” “Thanks, Dad!” said Eric. “Which side is left?” BRING IT BACK TOMORROW A customer walked into the post office wanting to mail a package. “Two-day shipping will cost $12.95 to get it there by Friday,” my coworker Billy told her. The customer, clearly looking to save a few bucks, said, “The package doesn’t have to get there till Saturday. Is there any way to make that happen?” Billy nodded. “Sure. You can bring it back tomorrow.” CHANGE THE SIGN Spotted on a business marquee in Tacoma, Washington: MY BOSS TOLD ME TO CHANGE THE SIGN, SO I DID. - Reader’s Digest entertainment guide RIDDLES What did the beach say when the tide came in? FIJI ONE FBC TV Answer: Long time, no sea. What did one potato chip say to the other? Answer: Shall we go for a dip? RF2 Classic Hour Mera Naseeb (PG) – Why couldn’t the sailors play cards? Answer: The captain was standing on the deck. 2019 Rallye du Maroc Motorsport - 4x4 - Ep Why didn’t the hot dog star in the movies? Answer: The roll was not good enough. Tagata Pasifika Doctor, Doctor (AO) Serie A - Genoa vs Inter ® Fiji One News ® Australia Plus Aljazeera What is black, white, and pink all over? Answer: An embarrassed zebra. FIJI ONE MAI TV FBC TV Why isn’t your nose twelve inches long? Answer: Because then it would be a foot. 6:00am 8:30am 9:00am 1:00pm 1:30pm 2:00pm 5:30pm 6:00pm Etranger 8:00pm 9:00pm 9:30pm 10:00pm 10:30pm 11:00pm What is the longest word in the dictionary? Answer: Smiles, because there is a mile between each “s”. TV ONE News Country Calendar RURAL DELIVERY Documentary FBC NEWS Juke World Prime Time Transformed by Truth TV NZ NEWS (L) RESET SERIES 7 - Ice breaker ideas FBC TV 6:30am A-LEAGUE - Rnd 13 Melbourne City vs Western United 8:30am 2020 SAL’s NBL New Zealand - Auckland Huskies vs Manawatu Jets 10:30am Cricket - Womens - 1st ODI - NZ vs South Africa Highlights 11:30am 2019 FSSRU Deans U15 Final - QVS vs RKS 1:00pm 2020 VPL – Lautoka vs Rewa – LIVE 3:00pm Friday Night Boxing Ep 9 4:00pm Highlights 4:30pm 84 5:00pm Documentary Football’s Greatest - Real Madrid 1954-1966 5:30pm Sports Max Ep 20 6:00pm 2020 NRL - Rnd 10 Titans vs Panthers - LIVE 8:00pm NRL Classic Match State Of Origin 2020 Game 2 10:00pm 2020 Land Rover Horse Of The Year - Harrison Lane 1.21.3m 7:00 8:00 8:30 9:00 10:00 11:00 12:00 13:00 13:30 14:00 14:30 ® 16:30 Green Pillars ® 17:00 Sporting Legends ® 17:30 Family Matters with Calvary Church 18:00 Fiji One News (Live) 18:30 Close Up 19:00 Back In Time 19:30 Justice For All 20:00 Talanoa Bure - Season Premiere 20:30 21:00 22:00 0:00 0:30 Praise Bill Newman Church Ministry Universal Church Catholic Church Live Calvary Temple In Touch Ministries All Nations Sermon Brian Houston @ Hillsong TV Eats & Treats ® Na Veisau Ni Draki ® Serie A - Udinese vs Juventus 12:00am International Movie – La Consolation 2:00am Aljazeera 6:00am Just Kids ® 7:30am Documentary 9:00am Devon Ke Dev Mahadev 10:00am 11:00am Replay 1:00pm 2020 VPL – Lautoka vs Rewa – LIVE 3:00pm Hindi Drama Series ® 4:30pm Back In Time (R) 5:00pm Documentary 6:00pm Fijian Made 6:30pm Cucurui 6:55pm Crime Stoppers 7:00pm FBC News 7:30pm Covid-19 Video Special 7:45pm 4 The Record 8:45pm Sunday Movie Madness – Magnificent Bodyguards (PG) 10:15pm 11:30 12:30 13:30 14:30 15:30 Inter ® 17.30 AFL Premiereship Season West Coast vs Collinwood (LIVE) 20:00 AFL Premiereship Season Melbourne vs Brisbane (LIVE) 23:00 ABC News Weekend (LIVE) 23:30 Talanoa Bure Season Premiere ® 00.00 2 News Local ® Praise ® Rural Delievery Stylish ® Close Up ® 2020 Serie A - Roma vs Aljazeera The Time of GRACE Aljazeera Margdarshan Koyla ABC Australia: Documentary French Movie – Corps 12:00 PM “OCEI TALE BEKA mai lomalagi kei vuravura? O JISU GA! ”WHO ELSE”” in heaven and earth? ONLY JESUS!“ 1-2 PM Mai TV Special 2-4pm Lotu Kaburaki 4-4:30pm Arirang 4:30 PM Pastor Chris teachings 5:00 PM Grace Road’s “Time of Grace” 6:00 PM 6:30 PM 7:00 PM 8:00 PM 8:30 PM 30
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