Tips on How to Survive your Grog Session
If you have no sevusevu look for that old jersey saraga that your cousin from the British Army sent to you (don’t cry its just a bloody jersey, the Vanua and company is more important). Give the jersey to the owner of the house and no one will give you the bad eyes for not contributing to the mix. Or when the taxi takes off just bluff kind run after the cab and pretend you forgot the grog and BH10 in the back seat – make sure everyone knows your disappointment of the lost $30 grog. They will taki you the full bowl now because they feel your pain (but don’t know your shame..lol)
Kara but no paisa
Tuki the kosa, again.. and again.. and again. If finish ga, vosota go to sleep.. another day tomorrow.
Let it rip
When in the middle of your session and you want to fart just do it 2bags style and give them advance warning and let it rip. The old method of cough and fart is not 100% full proof – because what comes out the back is usually louder if you cough hahahaha!. But remember this doesn’t work well with the cheches around.
Burned on Facebook
In this age of technology one has to be very careful not to noka at the session. So if a friend of yours posted your noka pix on facebook with saliva drooling down your face and you cannot untagg your self – just wait for the next grog session but this time host it. But request all to place phones in a basket so there is no anti social behavior, if they don’t then send them home, but aim for the fala who put you on facebook with bowls from the bottom, when he noka now take his photos, post it and tag all the cheches in your network.
Stepping the session
There are a few tested methods which has worked for 2bags and all his friends for years, but you have to vary the combination in every session.
When you enter the venue and if you learn that they all hold the world record belts in their yasayasa then you must plan ahead. Leave your flip flops or shoes in the nearest bush to the driveway. Once you have had it, just pretend to go wee-wee and oooooowiiii… make a run for it, but don’t forget to pick up your footwears.
You are sitting at a session and you have a feeling you will throw up soon or just cannot take it anymore, since you have forgotten the spiderman preparations – then you must use technology. Set your phone alarm to ring in 10-15 minutes time, but remember when you pretend to answer try to look concerned with your eyeballs almost falling out from your face. After you have done that tell the group that your child fell off the bed or someone kicked your dog and you have to rush home.
That’s your tips to get you through April – All the best!! BTW heard Serevi will be next 7s assistant coach! Happy April Fools day and Taki!!