Re­mo­ving the strai(gh)tja­cket

Siegessaeule - - An English Roundup -

> I ha­ve to ad­mit that I used to lis­ten to Dan Sa­va­ge, a sex ad­vice co­lum­nist and best­sel­ling aut­hor in the U.S., bel­oved by De­mo­crats, midd­le-class pro­gres­si­ves and people on the West Co­ast in ge­ne­ral. I don’t lis­ten to him any­mo­re, but the man does ha­ve the po­wer to ma­ke his words stick, par­ti­cu­lar­ly this oft-re­pea­ted state­ment: “Wo­men’s se­xua­li­ty is flu­id; men’s se­xua­li­ty is fi­xed.” I beg to dif­fer. I’ve had mo­re than my sha­re of sex with he­te­ro men he­re in Ber­lin. Good, ol’ fa­shio­ned, low sta­kes gay-on-strai­ght sex. And I’m not tal­king ma­chos on the DL or so­me Col­le­geDu­des­ trick – sim­ply guys you meet at a bar and who want a tas­te of so­me clas­sic Ber­lin de­ca­dence. I don’t doubt their se­xu­al iden­ti­ty eit­her, even when the sex is good. Ever­yo­ne gets to walk away with a smi­le on their face and ex­pe­ri­ence un­der their belt (ahem), wi­thout ex­pec­ta­ti­ons for a re­la­ti­ons­hip. It sim­ply ma­kes for a good ti­me. I may not be alo­ne as a one-ti­me re­crui­ter, eit­her. A stu­dy this ye­ar by the US CDC no­ted that of tho­se sur­vey­ed, 2.3 per­cent of “he­te­ro­se­xu­al” men ha­ve had sex with ot­her men. That’s a lot of guys, con­side­ring the term pre­clu­des sa­me-sex attrac­tion. The boys I’ve had sex with aren’t the jocks so of­ten por­tray­ed in a Se­an Co­dy porn: the Da­nish hip­py rai­sed in Chris­tia­nia, the Swiss de­sign stu­dent whi­ling his ti­me away he­re in Ber­lin, the Nor­we­gi­an grun­ge guy stop­ping th­rough town… The­se are re­la­tive­ly open guys. All en­coun­ters wi­thout any icky fee­lings: no­ne for him for do­ing it with a guy, and no­ne for me for “be­tray­ing” the gays. He­te­ro cul­tu­re is be­co­m­ing a bit queer. At least in its ac­tions – but what about words? In Ja­nu­a­ry, da­ting app BRO hit the sce­ne, a mo­bi­le so­ci­al net­work for bros loo­king to meet ot­her bros for a bit of bro­mance. Ba­si­cal­ly, Tin­der wi­thout wo­men and for the strai­ght­ac­ting. Their de­scrip­ti­on says that “BRO goes bey­ond using la­bels, and is for men that are in­te­rested in mee­ting ot­her men.” In­de­ed, the word gay or queer is now­he­re to be found in the syn­op­sis, but li­ke I wro­te abo­ve, the word “bro” is ubi­qui­tous. Do I de­tect a whiff of de­si­re for as­si­mi­la­ti­on? De­spi­te the ab­sence of the word “gay”, crea­tor Scott Kut­ler does say that the “ty­pi­cal de­mo­gra­phic will li­kely be men that iden­ti­fy as gay.” So the­re is an awa­ren­ess that ho­mo­se­xu­al men may use this, but ones who might not be as com­for­ta­ble with their se­xua­li­ty as so­me of us. What this says is mo­re dis­tur­bing about cur­rent gay (ma­le) cul­tu­re than it is about strai­ght men who ta­ke an oc­ca­sio­nal dip in the fag­gy end of the se­xua­li­ty pool. Do we re­al­ly need an app to ma­ke people feel mo­re com­for­ta­ble about their se­xua­li­ty? Es­pe­cial­ly when the­re are seg­ments of the strai­ght po­pu­la­ti­on that don’t think sucking dick on­ce will ob­li­te­ra­te their need for pus­sy? Who’s re­al­ly pro­gres­si­ve in this pic­tu­re? <

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