ZAYED KHAN

Cosmopolitan (India) - - COSMO MEN -

“My work week is filled with crazy, sched­ules and by the time I hit Wed­nes­day, I find my­self star­ing at the week­end with long­ing and an­tic­i­pa­tion, es­pe­cially if said week­end in­volves a boy’s night out. Yes, that won­der­ful ( and rare) oc­ca­sion, when the night is suf­fused with el­e­ments of mys­tery and the prom­ise of some­thing fun or sur­pris­ing at least. There is the un­mis­tak­able twin­kle in all our eyes. Un­for­tu­nately, our good news rarely bodes well for the ladies. With­out a pause, they start to fret, let­ting their imag­i­na­tions run away with them. Right there, that’s what I don’t get about women. Fine, I get it, it’s not like men in gen­eral haven’t given you rea­sons to worry. Those bloody Han­gover films, fun as they were, didn’t help our cause ei­ther.”

But come on, ladies— why don’t you let us have our one day of male bond­ing over ex­otic spir­its and maybe even a lit­tle harm­less chitchat with some wo­man, with­out send­ing us on a guilt trip? What I’ve ob­served is, no mat­ter how blem­ish- free your track record is, and how many re­as­sur­ances you give your girl­friend or wife, when you head out to cel­e­brate your night of in­de­pen­dence, one or all of the fol­low­ing will hap­pen...

You will re­ceive a very cold good­bye as you head out.

“Why don’t you let us have our one day of male bond­ing over ex­otic spir­its and maybe even a harm­less chit- chat with some

wo­man?”

If you dare to look con­cerned, it will un­leash a foul tem­per that’s been build­ing up from the time you told her about your plans.

You will re­ceive some ad­vice that goes some­thing like this: ‘ I hope you don’t drink too much and make a fool of your­self’. Which trans­lates ( there’s al­ways a trans­la­tion, isn’t there?) into, ‘ If you do any­thing silly, you’ll have hell to pay for it, so watch it assh* le!’.

On your way there, you’ll re­ceive a loaded text mes­sage say­ing ‘ We girls are do­ing a night out, too!’ leav­ing you to pon­der the out­come of a bunch of an­gry girls at a bar try­ing to prove a point.

All of this is be­cause we wanted some time off with the guys. All I’d like to say is, you silly girls! Do you think we’d risk the fam­ily jew­els for some five- minute in­ter­ac­tion with some stranger at a bar? And, more im­por­tantly, would we risk every­thing we have with you? No chance. It’s just a bit of harm­less fun that men like once in a while. And fire- breath­ing dragon or not, we’re com­ing back home to you. At least, I can speak con­fi­dently for my­self.”

Zayed Khan

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