“There is quite a lot I don’t get about women but for the sake of keeping this non- novella sized, I’ll pick just three. First off, the way women interact with other women truly amazes me. If two women are friends, then there is this complex, sophisticated language of inside jokes, common enemies, non- verbal cues and knowing smiles they’ve evolved over time, all of which is completely incomprehensible to an outsider, especially men.”
“Say someone has said something to a woman at work. Her boyfriend will likely get the short, trailer version: what happened, who said what and what a total b* tch that person is. The end. The guy will understand it at face value, back it up with his emotional reaction which will either be empathetic, grave or downright hilarious. Then she will call up her BFF and the same incident that took her under five minutes to narrate to her boyfriend will last an hour ( if you’re being modest). This conversation will involve a detailed retelling, a minute- by- minute account of exactly what happened— what everybody was wearing and how ugly they looked— interspersed with outrage, shouts of sarcastic laughter, and crazy intonations. The story will end with both parties agreeing that that person is going straight to hell. It boggles the mind! Even more baffling, though, is women’s behaviour around other
“Even when women hate each other, they’re so nice, so cordial, that you’d never guess they’re mentally stabbing each
women they don’t regard too highly. They’re so nice, so cordial and so extra, extra polite that you’d never guess they’re mentally stabbing each other. For example, this girl I knew in college detested another girl in the group but never gave the slightest indication of it for three years. She’d complain about her all the time, and when I finally asked her why she didn’t just tell her off, she replied, ‘ It doesn’t bother me’. But then... wait, what?!
The final thing ( I did promise I’d stick to three), I will never understand about women, and actually am quite in awe of, is their ability for complex deduction. If we’re at a coffee shop and we see a couple arguing, I see just that— a couple having a bad day. She will deduct what they’re arguing about based on their body language, which beverage they ordered, whose fault it really is and who’s winning the fight. She’ll deconstruct the whole situation with surgical precision— unbelievable! Once my ex girlfriend and I ran into my ex at a party. She drew up a list of possible motives the ex had for striking a conversation with me, based on a simple ‘ hello’. Women can compute situations and draw long and convoluted conclusions at the speed of lightning, whereas if we even attempted it, our heads would explode. I guess it’s the same reason, a man can get hopelessly lost in his own pantry, whereas a woman will be able to find the mustard in less than a minute. You gotta love ’ em! I know I do.”