When Celebrity Gos­sip is Ac­tu­ally Good for You

A new sur­vey re­veals that read­ing about Bi­pasha’s breakup or Britney’s melt­down can ac­tu­ally be good for us! Hard to be­lieve, eh? Read on to know more— and use gos­sip to your ben­e­fit.

Cosmopolitan (India) - - YOU, YOU, YOU - By Nam­rata Achowe

Here’s one more rea­son to take an in­ter­est in the go­ings- on of stars’ lives. A re­cent re­port re­vealed that read­ing about stars— from their re­la­tion­ship break- ups to their health scares— can help us deal with our own well- be­ing and is­sues. In short, the grapevine can ac­tu­ally im­prove your life!

For one, gos­sip makes us happy. Ac­cord­ing to Dr Char­lotte De Backer, an evo­lu­tion­ary psy­chol­o­gist, gos­sip­ing re­leases en­dor­phins in our brain, mak­ing us feel good. There’s more: “We tend to mimic the be­hav­iours of those with higher sta­tus or who are more suc­cess­ful,” says Dr Backer. “This ex­plains why celebri­ties act as role mod­els for broad ranges of be­hav­iour they dis­play— good or bad.” Put sim­ply, a star’s ac­tion can serve as an ex­am­ple, and see­ing how they deal with their is­sues is

like learn­ing from some­one else’s lessons. So with that in mind, Cosmo put to­gether a list of fa­mous hap­pen­ings— and how they can ben­e­fit you...

The Over­com­ers

In 2009, model, ac­tor, and ac­tivist Lisa Ray re­vealed that she was suf­fer­ing from Mul­ti­ple Myeloma, an in­cur­able can­cer of the white blood cells. But in­stead of giv­ing in to the dev­as­tat­ing news, Lisa chose to re­main op­ti­mistic. On her blog, the Yel­low Di­aries, Lisa wrote, “I be­lieve it can be cured. That’s the dirty re­al­ist in me.” Lisa be­gan rais­ing funds and aware­ness to find a cure, and even at­tended the Toronto In­ter­na­tional Film Fes­ti­val dur­ing her chemo ses­sions so she could reach out to peo­ple about her ill­ness and “make mul­ti­ple myeloma sexy.” Through it all, Lisa blogged about her ill­ness, in a pos­i­tive and hu­mor­ous way, treat­ing her prob­lem more like one that had to be tack­led, than one that was crip­pling. Ten months later, she an­nounced that she was can­cer- free, news that re­lieved fans, and made her a poster­girl for can­cer sur­vival.

Other celebs who share the same coura­geous at­ti­tude are Christina Ap­ple­gate, Sh­eryl Crow, and Kylie Minogue, all of whom suc­cess­fully fought breast can­cer. Their open­ness about the dis­ease sent out a pow­er­ful mes­sage to women ev­ery­where— that an ill­ness was noth­ing to be ashamed of... and that there is al­ways hope.

Deal­ing with the Exes

When a celeb cou­ple says say­onara, two things can hap­pen. Some will share ev­ery up and down of their emo­tional roller coaster ( hello, John Mayer); oth­ers will take a more dig­ni­fied route. Case in point: John Abra­ham and Bi­pasha Basu. When the long- term cou­ple broke up, ev­ery­one wanted to know the dirt. Did he cheat on her? Was she too con­trol­ling? But the cou­ple en­sured the only peo­ple in­volved in their split were them­selves. Fact is, and ex­perts agree, when a re­la­tion­ship is over, it is best to adopt a non- dis­clo­sure pol­icy. Post­ing on Face­book what an a* hole he is, or telling friends he once went to sleep dur­ing sex will only lead to sim­i­lar ac­cu­sa­tions from his side... and make the process of mov­ing on even tougher.

Telling It Like It is

When Ri­hanna was phys­i­cally abused by then boyfriend Chris Brown in 2009, she came out to con­demn his ac­tions. Soon af­ter, calls to do­mes­tic vi­o­lence hot­lines in­creased sig­nif­i­cantly. “Hav­ing celebrity is­sues in the news helps break down a lot of the stereo­types around re­la­tion­ship vi­o­lence vic­tims and per­pe­tra­tors,” says Jane Ash­ton, Women’s Do­mes­tic Vi­o­lence Cri­sis Ser­vice, Aus­tralia. When Ri­hanna left Chris, it in­spired other women with abu­sive part­ners to do the same. Na­dia, 25, a store man­ager, had been in a vi­o­lent re­la­tion­ship with her part­ner for a year. “As an out­sider to Ri­hanna’s sit­u­a­tion, I could see it was wrong. It made me re­alise I was mak­ing ex­cuses in my own re­la­tion­ship,” she says. Soon af­ter, she left her part­ner.

Ig­nor­ing the Neg­a­tiv­ity

feel­ings are mul­ti­plied man­i­fold. Be­ing fa­mous means that any­one can at­tack you— from bonafide crit­ics in news­pa­pers or on tele­vi­sion, to Tweet­ers and just gen­eral haters. But sen­si­ble stars know that you can't please all the peo­ple all the time. And there’s an im­por­tant les­son to learn here— when faced with crit­i­cism, di­vide it into two camps: con­struc­tive and de­struc­tive. Use the former to im­prove your­self, and tell the lat­ter (' You're fat', ‘ You're badly dressed', etc), to ba­si­cally FO. “It’s im­por­tant to fo­cus on im­pact, not ap­proval,” says Tim Fer­ris, author of The Four Hour Work Week. “Do what you be­lieve is right and ex­pect re­sis­tance and ex­pect at­tack­ers. Keep calm and carry on!” You know how ter­ri­ble you feel when your boss finds fault with your re­port or says you need to try harder? Well if you’re a celebrity, those

Look­ing Your Best

If there’s one thing nearly all A- listers do well, it’s look­ing af­ter them­selves. Sure, it’s their job to look good, but if that’s a pri­or­ity for you, too, you need to com­mit to it. Make an ef­fort to ex­er­cise daily, eat healthy, fig­ure out what sil­hou­ettes work best for your body, get a hair­cut that makes you feel foxy, or take a short make- up course to per­fect the art of cre­at­ing smokey eyes and killer cheek­bones. That said, look­ing your best doesn’t mean you have to live up to some­body else’s stan­dards of beauty— it’s also about ac­cept­ing and lik­ing what you have. Bey­once shows off her curvy be­hind, Shakira sings about her modest- sized breasts, and Lily Allen and Tilda Swin­ton are proud of their third nip­ple. ( More sta­ble) celebs don’t let them­selves go, but also ac­cept their ‘ flaws’, be­cause they know that in the end, that’s what makes them unique.

Bips and John called it quits mi­nus the trash talk

A bat­tered Ri­hanna Ri­hanna’s in­ci­dent with then boyfriend Chris Brown re­vealed the ugly side of abuse in a re­la­tion­ship

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