HOW TO make A MAN DO any thing

Des­per­ate to make your man open up more, get over his ex, or just stay awake af­ter some hot sex? Wel­come to the ul­ti­mate user guide to the male of the species.

Cosmopolitan (India) - - LOVE & LUST - By Anna Hart

How to make him... you gor­geous presents

Stud­ies show that men re­spond bet­ter to pos­i­tive re­in­force­ment (praise about what he does buy you) than neg­a­tive (crit­i­cism about what he hasn’t). Laugh at him for get­ting your size wrong at La Senza, and next time it’ll just be a Dairy Milk. The av­er­age man buys three sur­prise gifts a year for his part­ner, so make a prom­ise: what­ever he buys you, re­act as if it’s a Chanel 2.55. By next year, he may have the present-buy­ing

con­fi­dence to get you one.

...more am­bi­tious

Un­der­stand­ably, men are hard­wired to re­act de­fen­sively if you even hint they could be more am­bi­tious or could look for a new job, but this doesn’t mean that you can’t shake him out of a ca­reer rut. A study at New York Univer­sity dis­cov­ered par­tic­i­pants find much more cre­ative so­lu­tions to other peo­ple’s prob­lems than they do for their own. So ask your man for ca­reer ad­vice ‘for a friend’—about a spook­ily sim­i­lar

sit­u­a­tion to his own. It will open up a con­ver­sa­tion about what he wants from his job, and he will come up with a smarter strat­egy. You won’t be pres­suris­ing him, plus he’ll hatch a more cre­ative plan than if he knew he was talk­ing about him­self.

...stay awake af­ter sex

Okay, so it’s not just pure sloth. “The blood rush af­ter cli­max de­pletes his mus­cles of en­ergy-pro­duc­ing glyco­gen, leav­ing men feel­ing phys­i­cally drained,” ex­plains sleep ex­pert Dr Neil Stan­ley. “Have sex out of bed­room, away from the usual sleep­ing en­vi­ron­ment, or play some up­lift­ing mu­sic—not the usual ro­man­tic sounds.” Or tempt him into the shower with you to ‘freshen up’; mint shower gel and run­ning wa­ter will re­vive him. And re­mem­ber: no man ever fell asleep while he was be­ing told how amaz­ing he is in bed.


Ever no­ticed that men are fas­tid­i­ous about load­ing the dish­washer, but still leave a trail of socks along the bed­room floor? Rex Jung, neu­ropsy­chol­o­gist at the Univer­sity of New Mex­ico, says it’s down to the anatomy of our brains: men think more with their grey mat­ter; women think more with their white mat­ter. In other words, women are bet­ter at in­te­grat­ing and as­sim­i­lat­ing in­for­ma­tion, while men are bet­ter at spa­tial tasks. What this means is that if you present tidy­ing up as a spa­tial task (like putting his clothes in spe­cially des­ig­nated draw­ers), he’ll do much bet­ter. up more

Say less, and say it slower. Women speak at 250 words a minute; men just 125, and we rat­tle through over 25,000 words a day, com­pared to his 12,000. One of the rea­sons men don’t feel com­fort­able talk­ing is be­cause most women can outtalk them—what we think of as nor­mal, they see as a rant. Sex ex­pert Juli­enne Davis, co-au­thor of Stop Call­ing Him Honey...And Start Hav­ing Sex, says, “Don’t moan for hours about a col­league he’s never met. Tell him the best or worst part of your day, and leave it at that.” Slow it down to his pace, and don’t re­peat your­self or waste words—he’ll get into the rhythm of the con­ver­sa­tion and soon will start opening up.

...treat kiss­ing as more than a pre­lude to sex

If you only touch, ca­ress or kiss as part of fore­play, it breeds the idea that any kiss is de­mand­ing that he take you to bed, which piles the pres­sure on you both, warns mar­i­tal ther­a­pist An­drew G Mar­shall. Make a point of en­joy­ing no-strings cuddles and kisses; have a steamy kiss­ing ses­sion on the sofa, then ca­su­ally wan­der off for a shower. You’ll leave him want­ing more, and re­in­force that kiss­ing isn’t just a pas­sage to bed.

...take the next step

Keen to move in together? Or get en­gaged? Most women tend to think the best way to get him to take the plunge is by build­ing up a prac­ti­cal case for it: “Oh, how an­noy­ing, I for­got my tights again. Split­ting time be­tween two places is so an­noy­ing.” Wrong! Tak­ing your re­la­tion­ship up a level has to be an emo­tion­ally driven de­ci­sion, says life coach Re­bekah Fen­some. “Skip prac­ti­cal mea­sures. The point is an

over­whelm­ing feel­ing of love and a sense that this has to hap­pen for you.” Moan about the way things are, and he’ll just find it an­noy­ing. Re­lax, be your­self and you’ll be singing along to SingS­tar one night when he’ll sud­denly say, “Let’s get a place together.”

...stop scratching around his box­ers

Sub­tle hints won’t work, so try a bad-habit barter: agree that you’ll stop do­ing some­thing that bugs him if he’ll lose the con­stant fondling. “Fo­cus on one bad habit each,” ad­vises clin­i­cal psy­chol­o­gist Scott Young. “Sim­ple rules cre­ate habits; com­plex rules cre­ate headaches.” It takes 30 days to break a bad habit, so tease each other about it and see who can get through a month with­out cheat­ing.

...spend longer on fore­play

Try what sex ex­pert Mag­gie Arana calls the ‘refuse-to-strip tease’. First, un­dress with one hand, then linger in your un­der­wear. Reach inside your bra to stroke your nip­ples, and slip your hand into your knick­ers, but if he tries to take them off, play­fully re­sist. You’ll en­joy the power trip of keep­ing him wait­ing for your naked body, and hav­ing the bar­rier there for as long as you can stand will drive you both wild.

...fall in love with you

First, swap that din­ner date for some­thing with some se­ri­ous fear fac­tor. Stud­ies have found that putting a man in a vul­ner­a­ble po­si­tion in­stantly makes his date seem more at­trac­tive, and over­com­ing a stress­ful sit­u­a­tion together makes you closer—how about a date-night hor­ror film? Next, sex mat­ters, says an­thro­pol­o­gist He­len Fisher. The boost in his testos­terone kick-starts ‘love neu­ro­trans­mit­ters’ and his or­gasm will send at­tach­ment hor­mones soar­ing.

...more ro­man­tic

How to make him more lovey­dovey? By ex­am­ple, says love guru Michael Webb. This means you buy­ing him the new AC/DC CD the day it comes out. Whin­ing about how great your sis­ter’s boyfriend is, won’t cut it. And ap­peal to his com­pet­i­tive side by plan­ning al­ter­nate weekly date nights—one night your choice, one night his. “If you ap­peal to his com­pet­i­tive na­ture, he’ll put more thought into the evening, try­ing to outdo his part­ner,” says Michael.

...get over his ex

Stud­ies show it takes 10 weeks be­fore peo­ple start feel­ing ‘sig­nif­i­cantly less dis­tressed’ af­ter a break-up, so if your new man is fresh from a split, give him a three-month no-pres­sure win­dow. Then try a tech­nique psy­chol­o­gist Me­lanie Green­berg calls con­di­tion­ing the­ory. “Places, peo­ple or ac­tiv­i­ties as­so­ci­ated with an ex trig­ger crav­ings, so avoid th­ese and de­velop new rou­tines.” Don’t let him take you to the same pub he went with his ex; bring him to your local, in­tro­duce him to your friends, and take up a cool new hobby such as rock climb­ing. The trick is to fill his life with new habits, rather than let­ting him sink into the same old ex-haunted rou­tine.

...take it slow in bed

When we com­plain that sex is over too quickly, it’s of­ten be­cause we make the mis­take of ex­pect­ing a fast-paced en­counter to last 90 min­utes. But if you’re sprint­ing to each other’s eroge­nous zones and us­ing your most ef­fec­tive tricks, you’re tak­ing a short­cut that will leave you dis­sat­is­fied. So set the pace. Per­form your usual oral tricks on your man, but slow them down the tenth of your usual speed. You will be sur­prised at how many new sen­sa­tions a change in pace can pro­duce. He’ll love the sight of you tak­ing your time, rel­ish­ing his body. Plus, you’ll con­serve some en­ergy for later...


Okay, so you can’t make his pe­nis grow by wa­ter­ing it, but you can make it feel big­ger (and that’s what counts, right?) As sex spe­cial­ist Dr Cather­ine Hood says, “The av­er­age pe­nis size is 5 inches erect, but as only the first third of the vagina has much sen­si­tiv­ity, any­more is wasted. If your part­ner has a small pe­nis, a good po­si­tion is spoon­ing, as this gives deeper pen­e­tra­tion.”

The sexy lin­gerie didn’t help, he wanted

to see his fave TV show

He couldn’t fig­ure out how to work the cam­era, but he could ap­pre­ci­ate her legs

He’d do any­thing to get her in bed...even model funny hats

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