Your Re­la­tion­ship

Time to si­lence the haters? Here’s what to do if ev­ery­one thinks you should...

Cosmopolitan (India) - - UPFRONT -

...stay to­gether

No one sees how the two of you act when you’re alone, so other peo­ple’s opin­ions on why you should stay with your part­ner are based on an in­ac­cu­rate pic­ture. Once you’ve de­cided to break-up, ex­plain it sim­ply. “Say you aren’t in love with him any more,” ad­vises Aus­tralia-based re­la­tion­ship psy­chol­o­gist John Aiken. “Peo­ple un­der­stand this.”

...break up

Friends or fam­ily telling you to end things with your guy? This usu­ally comes about if you two have been through a rough patch or 10, and you al­ways vent to some­one about it. If this is the case, it’s you who’s got to change that. “Make sure you stop com­plain­ing about your re­la­tion­ship,” sug­gests Aiken. “Tell your friends you’re happy, then move the con­ver­sa­tion on.”

...hurry up and tick the next box

So, your friends and par­ents are des­per­ate to see a ring on your fin­ger—but you’re okay with things just as they are? “This is about your fam­ily’s ex­pec­ta­tions, not yours,” says Aiken. “Tell them you’re happy and that things are ex­actly where you want them to be at the mo­ment.”

Lis­ten to them

Of­ten peo­ple on the out­side can pick up on real prob­lems bet­ter than we can. “We like to think we make good de­ci­sions, so ad­mit­ting the choice you’ve made is wrong can be hard,” says Sue Yorston from Re­la­tion­ships Aus­tralia. Vi­o­lence and ver­bal abuse are firm deal­break­ers. Take a stand, and move on.

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