BFFS? Not every friendship could survive life’s big milestone events
You’ve shared everything, from make-up to man problems, so it’s only natural that your best friend is your first thought when you’re in search of a travel or business partner, or a flatmate to share a place with. However, the very personality traits that make you such great friends may not translate to these situations. Would your friendship be able to survive these tests?
The Travel Test
Planning a global getaway with just your bestie? Make
sure you both want the same kind of holiday. “You have to be honest with yourself and see if you’re compatible. It’s only fun if your friend understands your boundaries,” says
Australia-based counselling psychologist Jasmine Sliger. If you want to relax poolside all day, but your friend wants to party, then it’s time to talk about your individual expectations. “There needs to be a mutual respect for each other, as
well as a live- and-let-live attitude,” says Sliger. Use a weekend away as a trial run before you book those
The Work Test
Before you go into business with her, look at how you both work. “You need to understand the behavioural profile of each other and who’s best suited to which tasks,” says Peter Hall, director of
the Business Advisor Network, Australia. “Make a business plan and look at who will do what. Do you have complementary temperaments and skills?” If you’re both too similar in personality, you might be locking horns more than locking in deals. Hall suggests using an independent third party. “A business mentor will
provide business experience and act as a buffer between friends.”
The Moving Test
“Observe your friend and analyse your personalities,” says Sliger. Ask yourself questions like: what are her values? How does she make decisions? Is she a good judge of character? How organised is she? And if her current house is a pigsty and yours is pristine, be realistic: it’s probably not going to work. Sliger also recommends thinking out the worst-case scenario: “If you had a terrible fight, do you think the two of you could get over it? Could you tolerate the consequences of losing the friendship altogether?” Talk it over
before signing the lease.