Him Around

Cosmopolitan (India) - - LOVE & LUST -

No mat­ter what, re­sist the urge to ask what’s wrong and steer clear of chat­ter­ing to fill the si­lence. At this point, any at­tempt to en­gage may push him to re­treat fur­ther, says re­la­tion­ship psy­chol­o­gist Jeremy Ni­chol­son, Ph.D. Ex­perts agree it’s best to take a break, so give him some time to chill by run­ning an er­rand or go­ing for a walk.

When you get back, seek him out and breezily ask if ev­ery­thing’s okay. “If he says yes—es­pe­cially if it’s a rare oc­cur­rence—take him at face value and drop the sub­ject,” sug­gests Smith. He’s sorted things out on his own and de­cided that he isn’t up­set. Re­ally. Push­ing for more will only cre­ate a prob­lem where there isn’t one.

But if he pulls this move a lot, you have to ad­dress it head-on. At a time when you’re both re­laxed, let him know how hard it is for you to feel like you can’t be there for him when he’s up­set, then ask what he needs from you. “Bring­ing up the is­sue out­side the mo­ment is non-threat­en­ing yet makes it clear that you’re not will­ing to put up with the silent treat­ment any­more,” says Ni­chol­son.

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