Why Men Do It

Cosmopolitan (India) - - COSMO REPORT -

of­fences, and need se­ri­ous at­ten­tion.

A Cosmo web poll found that 77 per­cent of re­spon­dents have been groped by a stranger at least once, with an as­tound­ing 39 per­cent vic­tim­ized on four or more sep­a­rate oc­ca­sions— on air­planes and trains, at par­ties, night­clubs, and pub­lic parks, and even on the street.

Cases of eve teas­ing are even more com­mon—men get away with pass­ing lewd re­marks, and mak­ing women feel un­safe, and un­com­fort­able on a reg­u­lar ba­sis. Head­lines To­day re­porter, An­jana Kashyap, went through a sim­i­lar ex­pe­ri­ence, while re­port­ing from Delhi in De­cem­ber, last year. The cam­era was rolling when An­jana was hack­led by three men in a car who stopped to pass com­ments. The men’s faces, and car num­ber plate were recorded, as the cam­era­man in­ter­vened. This pro­vided def­i­nite proof to the government and po­lice about the con­stant har­rass­ment women face in pub­lic and on busy roads.

Women of­ten have a ten­dency to shrug off eve teas­ing, and grop­ing. Af­ter all, an in­ci­dent lasts only a few sec­onds. But it is a form of sex­ual as­sault, one that can have last­ing reper­cus­sions for vic­tims. Here, ex­perts ex­plain what mo­ti­vates a man to put his hands on you with­out per­mis­sion— and the right way to fight back.

A hand on your ass; a squeeze of your breast; a man brush­ing or press­ing his body against yours— any­time you’re touched in an un­wanted sex­ual way, that’s grop­ing, says Pa­tri­cia J. Aletky, Ph.D., a clin­i­cal psy­chol­o­gist and foren­sic con­sul­tant in Min­neapo­lis who spe­cial­izes in sex-re­lated cases.

“Grop­ers are of­ten men with low self-es­teem who crave power and con­trol over fe­males,” ex­plains Brent E. Tur­vey, a crim­i­nal pro­filer in Sitka, Alaska, and co-au­thor of Rape In­ves­ti­ga­tion Hand­book. “Grab­bing or rub­bing against a woman proves to a groper that he’s ca­pa­ble of putting her in a sub­mis­sive po­si­tion.” In other words, he gets a high out of hu­mil­i­at­ing you...and know­ing he’ll likely get away with it.

To com­pli­cate mat­ters, grop­ers aren’t all sketchy-look­ing guys. Many are suc­cess­ful, well-groomed pro­fes­sion­als. Or they’re seem­ingly reg­u­lar guys who fit right into any nightspot fre­quented by hip young adults— as Mahima*, 29, found out last year, when she was at a crowded bar in Ban­ga­lore. “My girl­friends and

(Left) Young women at a silent protest for the De­cem­ber gan­grape in Delhi. ( Top and bot­tom right) TV re­porter, An­jana Kashyap, be­ing eve- teased while re­port­ing live

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