I split with my boyfriend of a year and ex­plained that I’d fallen out of love with him. But, a month later, he keeps call­ing to ask why. I’ve got some things at his house but I can’t bear the has­sle of get­ting them back. How can I make him stop bad­ger­ing

Cosmopolitan (India) - - YOU, YOU, YOU -


This is a time when the writ­ten word works best. Tell him not that you don’t love him, but that you’re not ready for com­mit­ment. And isn’t that the truth? You need time and space alone to dis­cover who you are. Make no prom­ise of friend­ship or any­thing else, just thank him for an im­por­tant year and wish him well. As for your things at his house, con­sider them the price of free­dom and for­get about them.

Q. I’m 23 and strug­gle with my weight. I feel hideously thin. It’s hard to find clothes that fit, let alone look nice. I try to eat well but my shift work makes this dif­fi­cult. My doc­tor says I’m in good health, but I’m de­pressed. A.

Ob­sess­ing about weight in spite of a clean bill of health from the doc­tor usu­ally means strug­gling for weight con­trol to dis­tract from deeper is­sues. For in­stance, the ‘shift work’ that you blame for your ir­reg­u­lar eat­ing habits— does it ful­fil your am­bi­tions? And how’s your so­cial life? Some­thing needs ad­just­ing and it’s not your weight. Turn your back to the mir­ror. A lot in life is more im­por­tant to con­trol than dress size, and more re­ward­ing too.

Q. How can I give my BF a hand job that feels just as good as the one he gives him­self? A.

Ask him to show you what he likes. If he’s not com­fort­able (or you aren’t) mas­tur­bat­ing in front of you, have him put his hand over yours while you touch him. That way you can feel what kind of grip and speed he prefers. Also, ask if he likes any ex­tras—many men cup or stroke their scro­tum. Not dat­ing the vo­cal type? Ex­per­i­ment with touches and speeds, and pay at­ten­tion to his

Even af­ter four cup­cakes, her weight was still

the same!

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