How To Have an Or­gasm Tonight!

Whether you’re hav­ing trou­ble get­ting there with your guy or just want to make your or­gasms stronger, our tips will have you cov­ered... and then some. By Jessica Knoll

Cosmopolitan (India) - - CONTENTS -

Ex­pert tips to help you and your guy get there.

If some­one were to tell you that only 30 per­cent of the women

at your com­pany will ever get pro­moted, you might think to your­self, ‘Hey, I should find a new com­pany that’s more sup­port­ive of women’! Now, con­sider this: only 30 per­cent of women have or­gasms from in­ter­course alone. Sur­prised? We blame movies like The Note­book, where the girl mag­i­cally cli­maxes af­ter two-and-ahalf min­utes of P-in-the-V ac­tion. The truth is, the way most men and

women view sex—as a com­pletely phys­i­cal, pen­e­tra­tive, ex­pe­ri­ence—isn’t do­ing you any favours if you’re on the hunt for the elu­sive or­gasm. “In­ter­course pro­vides in­ter­nal stim­u­la­tion, but for women, the re­ally sen­si­tive parts are out­side the vagi­nal canal,” says sex ed­u­ca­tor Do­rian Solot, co-author of I Love Fe­male Or­gasm: An Ex­tra­or­di­nary Or­gasm Guide. She likens it to a guy try­ing to have an or­gasm by hav­ing some­one touch his tes­ti­cles but never his pe­nis. Good luck with that! Now back to what you—and the other 70 per­cent of women who don’t or­gasm from sex alone—need. Girl-gasms are com­posed of two things: the right mind-set and the right moves. Th­ese men­tal and phys­i­cal tips will help you find your happy place.

Get Into an Or­gas­mic State of Mind

If an or­gasm just isn’t hap­pen­ing, you’ll need to play a few Jedi mind tricks with your­self be­fore your clothes come off. We all have dif­fer­ent hang-ups (some women get in­se­cure, oth­ers get distracted), so try all th­ese tricks to nar­row down what works best for you.

Read or watch some sexy stuff. You want to go into sex al­ready ex­pe­ri­enc­ing that tingly feel­ing in your stom­ach rather than hop­ing your hookup pro­vides the tin­gles.

In­dulge a fan­tasy. Think about a hot sce­nario be­fore and yes, dur­ing, sex. (A lot of women worry this is some­how wrong, like men­tal cheat­ing. It’s not.) So go ahead, play sexy lit­tle movies in your mind about what­ever turns you on—a hot mo­ment you had last year, Gosling, or a vi­sion of what’s to come.

Elim­i­nate dis­trac­tions. Turn off your phone...or the lights if you think you’re go­ing to be self­con­scious about your body.

Take a shower. All that steam will

set the scene...and you won’t be ly­ing there wor­ry­ing about how you taste or smell when you should be fo­cus­ing on your or­gasm.

Stop think­ing about him. Let him know you want to trade off nights when it’s all about you and other nights when you can re­turn the favour. You may just hit a rhythm where you’re in sync with each other and ev­ery night is a home run for both of you!

Don’t freak out if it doesn’t feel like it’s go­ing to hap­pen. On aver­age, it takes a woman 20 min­utes of di­rect stim­u­la­tion to have an or­gasm. It’s com­mon to reach a plateau phase, when you’re turned on but feel like you’ve stalled. Don’t lose hope. Stick with what got you to that point and you’ll likely get there.

Find the Right Touch(es)

Once you’re in the zone, it’s time to get phys­i­cal. No mat­ter how good a guy is in bed, don’t make the com­mon mis­take of ex­pect­ing him to ‘give’ you an or­gasm. You’re more likely to get your kicks if you take things into your own hands.

Lend your­self a hand. Touch your cli­toris dur­ing sex. Reach down with con­fi­dence—if you’re wor­ried about bruis­ing his ego, it’s just the op­po­site—it’s a turn-on for him to see you so turned on.

Guys are usu­ally great at tak­ing charge of a sex­ual sit­u­a­tion. They ad­just their stim­u­la­tion, speed, and an­gle to in­crease the chance of hav­ing an or­gasm. Most women don’t think to bor­row this strat­egy, but it’s smart to own your needs rather than ex­pect him to fig­ure them out.

Have him do two things at once. While he’s go­ing down on you, ask him to put a fin­ger or two in­side you, and/ or move your hips against his mouth to help cre­ate a rhythm that feels best for you. Many times, it’s a com­bi­na­tion of things, rather than just one move, that hits the magic but­ton.

They’d ac­ci­dently knocked their heads to­gether!

“The view’s more than fine from here,

honey...”

What trumps a sexy selfie? One with

your man in it

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