How To Have an Orgasm Tonight!
Whether you’re having trouble getting there with your guy or just want to make your orgasms stronger, our tips will have you covered... and then some. By Jessica Knoll
Expert tips to help you and your guy get there.
If someone were to tell you that only 30 percent of the women
at your company will ever get promoted, you might think to yourself, ‘Hey, I should find a new company that’s more supportive of women’! Now, consider this: only 30 percent of women have orgasms from intercourse alone. Surprised? We blame movies like The Notebook, where the girl magically climaxes after two-and-ahalf minutes of P-in-the-V action. The truth is, the way most men and
women view sex—as a completely physical, penetrative, experience—isn’t doing you any favours if you’re on the hunt for the elusive orgasm. “Intercourse provides internal stimulation, but for women, the really sensitive parts are outside the vaginal canal,” says sex educator Dorian Solot, co-author of I Love Female Orgasm: An Extraordinary Orgasm Guide. She likens it to a guy trying to have an orgasm by having someone touch his testicles but never his penis. Good luck with that! Now back to what you—and the other 70 percent of women who don’t orgasm from sex alone—need. Girl-gasms are composed of two things: the right mind-set and the right moves. These mental and physical tips will help you find your happy place.
Get Into an Orgasmic State of Mind
If an orgasm just isn’t happening, you’ll need to play a few Jedi mind tricks with yourself before your clothes come off. We all have different hang-ups (some women get insecure, others get distracted), so try all these tricks to narrow down what works best for you.
Read or watch some sexy stuff. You want to go into sex already experiencing that tingly feeling in your stomach rather than hoping your hookup provides the tingles.
Indulge a fantasy. Think about a hot scenario before and yes, during, sex. (A lot of women worry this is somehow wrong, like mental cheating. It’s not.) So go ahead, play sexy little movies in your mind about whatever turns you on—a hot moment you had last year, Gosling, or a vision of what’s to come.
Eliminate distractions. Turn off your phone...or the lights if you think you’re going to be selfconscious about your body.
Take a shower. All that steam will
set the scene...and you won’t be lying there worrying about how you taste or smell when you should be focusing on your orgasm.
Stop thinking about him. Let him know you want to trade off nights when it’s all about you and other nights when you can return the favour. You may just hit a rhythm where you’re in sync with each other and every night is a home run for both of you!
Don’t freak out if it doesn’t feel like it’s going to happen. On average, it takes a woman 20 minutes of direct stimulation to have an orgasm. It’s common to reach a plateau phase, when you’re turned on but feel like you’ve stalled. Don’t lose hope. Stick with what got you to that point and you’ll likely get there.
Find the Right Touch(es)
Once you’re in the zone, it’s time to get physical. No matter how good a guy is in bed, don’t make the common mistake of expecting him to ‘give’ you an orgasm. You’re more likely to get your kicks if you take things into your own hands.
Lend yourself a hand. Touch your clitoris during sex. Reach down with confidence—if you’re worried about bruising his ego, it’s just the opposite—it’s a turn-on for him to see you so turned on.
Guys are usually great at taking charge of a sexual situation. They adjust their stimulation, speed, and angle to increase the chance of having an orgasm. Most women don’t think to borrow this strategy, but it’s smart to own your needs rather than expect him to figure them out.
Have him do two things at once. While he’s going down on you, ask him to put a finger or two inside you, and/ or move your hips against his mouth to help create a rhythm that feels best for you. Many times, it’s a combination of things, rather than just one move, that hits the magic button.
They’d accidently knocked their heads together!
“The view’s more than fine from here,
What trumps a sexy selfie? One with
your man in it