Cosmopolitan (India) - - LOVE & LUST -

“Think about the fall­out first, then con­sider the ben­e­fits,” ad­vises Tracey. “Does one out­weigh the other?” Com­mu­ni­ca­tion is es­sen­tial, but even at the shar­ing-your­fan­tasies stage, it can back­fire. “Fan­tasies about peo­ple you know are a no-no. Fan­tasies about you and your part­ner do­ing rel­a­tively ‘vanilla’ things are rel­a­tively safe. Just be aware that what seems a tasty turn-on to you (drag­ging him by his tie to have sex in the loo at his of­fice party) might sound plain ter­ri­fy­ing to him (the boss finds out and he loses his job). Any­thing that in­volves sleep­ing with other peo­ple or S&M need a great deal of think­ing and talk­ing through. Even if you have no de­sire to act out the fan­tasy and sim­ply want to share or role­play, he may still find it dis­turb­ing. It’s of­ten bet­ter to start with milder ver­sions of the fan­tasy and see if you both like it be­fore tak­ing more risks.”

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