SHOULD YOU ACT ON YOUR FANTASY?
“Think about the fallout first, then consider the benefits,” advises Tracey. “Does one outweigh the other?” Communication is essential, but even at the sharing-yourfantasies stage, it can backfire. “Fantasies about people you know are a no-no. Fantasies about you and your partner doing relatively ‘vanilla’ things are relatively safe. Just be aware that what seems a tasty turn-on to you (dragging him by his tie to have sex in the loo at his office party) might sound plain terrifying to him (the boss finds out and he loses his job). Anything that involves sleeping with other people or S&M need a great deal of thinking and talking through. Even if you have no desire to act out the fantasy and simply want to share or roleplay, he may still find it disturbing. It’s often better to start with milder versions of the fantasy and see if you both like it before taking more risks.”