The FAKE CHASTITY Belt

It’s the eas­i­est in­sur­ance against hav­ing sex with a guy too soon, and it usu­ally works. But when it doesn’t, you need a back-up plan. This is it.

Cosmopolitan (India) - - LOVE & LUST -

Re­cently, Sara Blakely, the in­ven­tor of our dear friend Spanx, was on the Forbes list of bil­lion­aires. So many of us rely on the body shapers to con­tain a muf­fin top or slim our thighs. But they also have a sec­ondary use; they keep you from hav­ing sex with a guy you like.

“When I’m into some­one, I don’t want to ruin things by hav­ing sex with him too soon,” says Rhea*, 27. “The prob­lem is, I usu­ally want to have sex with him so badly that I don’t trust my­self not to go too far with him when we are mak­ing out.” So she squeezes her­self into her gross­est pair of Spanx.

Other women rely on things like prickly legs, a grown-out bikini line, or a good old-fash­ioned pair of granny panties. No mat­ter what your poi­son, they are all things we like to call fake chastity belts: pre­ven­tive mea­sures taken to en­sure that no mat­ter how big the temp­ta­tion, you don’t have sex. The prob­lem is that the Spanx method might not be too re­li­able, as it ups your de­sir­abil­ity and makes you feel sex­ier. When a fake chastity belt fails you, it’s the ul­ti­mate FML mo­ment: you’re in bed with the guy you re­ally like, you’re hairy and your Spanx is giv­ing you back cleav­age. So here’s what to

WHEN A FAKE CHASTITY BELT FAILS YOU, IT’S THE UL­TI­MATE FML MO­MENT.

do: go to the bath­room. Take off Spanx and/or granny panties. Hope­fully, your purse is big enough to cram your un­der­gar­ments into it. If not, you need to find a hid­ing place. Un­der­neath the bath mat is a good one.

And if you can’t stash the ev­i­dence? “If you’re wear­ing ratty un­der­wear, the key is to play it off with hu­mour,” says Jenn Ro­gien, cos­tume de­signer in Brook­lyn. “Try to re­mem­ber that you’ve been blessed with two very dis­tract­ing as­sets.” A guy won’t no­tice your full-cov­er­age briefs when you’re work­ing some awe­some cleav­age.

So there you have it—the next time a fake chastity belt fails you, laugh, dis­tract, and ex­plain that nor­mally you don’t sport enough hair to make a merkin out of it.

She re­ally should have re­mem­bered to pack some clothes

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