5 Times You Shouldn’t Text Him!

Too many mes­sages can kill a bud­ding re­la­tion­ship. We tell you when to step away from the cell.

Cosmopolitan (India) - - YOU, YOU, YOU -

Ca­sual SMSes have be­come a huge part of dat­ing, and ex­perts spec­u­late that texts have sur­passed ac­tual phone calls be­tween many cou­ples. But be­ware: there's such a thing as too much tex­ting (TMT). Overdoing it can harm things, says re­la­tion­ship ex­pert Ar­lene Krieger, Ph.D. There are sev­eral in­stances where tex­ting can tor­pedo a re­la­tion­ship be­fore it's barely got­ten off the ground:

1 Af­ter your first few dates.

It may be tempt­ing to con­tact a guy right af­ter an amaz­ing date, but re­sist the urge. “Reach­ing out lessens the thrill of the chase for him,” says psy­chol­o­gist Diana Kirschner, Ph.D., author of Love In 90 Days.

2 When you're drunk.

Since phones don't come with breath anal­y­sers, it's up to you to stop your­self from send­ing a tipsy mes­sage—es­pe­cially one that sug­gests you two meet up ASAP. “Be­ing too avail­able lets a guy know he has all the lever­age,” Krieger says.

3 When you’re an­gry.

It’s an­noy­ing when a guy flakes, but send­ing a “Why haven’t you called me??!!” in­quiry makes you look mas­sively in­se­cure. Avoid texts when you’re in a ‘I just want to kill him’ mood, too. “When it’s in writ­ing, you can’t eas­ily take it back,” Kirschner says.

4 When you’re try­ing to be funny.

“Non-ver­bally, sar­casm and jok­ing might come off as ag­gres­sive,” says Kirschner. A guy could read an SMS like “OMG, you were out of con­trol last night!!!” lit­er­ally, which makes you sound pissed when you were just re­mem­ber­ing his funny be­hav­iour.

5 When you’ve al­ready texted him that day.

Once you’re in an on­go­ing re­la­tion­ship, you may be tempted to rely on tex­ting as a reg­u­lar form of com­mu­ni­ca­tion, but SMSes dis­cour­age phone con­ver­sa­tions and one-on-one time. By not en­gag­ing in text marathons, you’re en­cour­ag­ing real con­ver­sa­tions.

1pm...time to send the 25th mes­sage of

the day

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