Ask Cosmo Anything
From random little issues to major life dramas, we’ve got your back.
Q. A guy asked me out to see a movie. He picked me up, so I offered to pay for the movie tickets, saying it was like reimbursing him for petrol money. I didn’t think he would let me, but he did. Shouldn’t he have tried to pay?
A: He shouldn’t have tried to pay for the tickets—he should have insisted on paying for them. But there’s probably a reason why he did what he did. Men tend to be pathologically eager to please on a first date, so when a woman seems intent on splitting the cost, some guys agree to it, not because they’re cheapskates, but because they think that’s truly what she wants. If you liked the guy otherwise, give him another chance.
Q: I’m 20 and can’t help feeling inadequate when I compare myself to my older sister. She’s 24, a model, and stick-thin, which I could never be because I’m too plain and big. I don’t pity myself, but how can I shake this second-best feeling?
A: Keeping your body slim is not more important than keeping your heart and mind healthy. Experiment with your clothes and hair, but turn away from the mirror and look around: what seems interesting? You have time to prepare yourself for a future of achievement; time to change your mind, to try something new altogether and time to take up dancing or singing or tennis, just for the hell of it. Get started on your
own path into all the beautiful times ahead.
Q: My parents argued constantly throughout my childhood and, although they have since divorced, their bickering has really affected me. In college, I struggle to talk to anyone and when someone shows an interest in me, I freeze and am unable to hold a conversation. What can I do to stop feeling like this?
A: One human right that’s free for everyone on earth is the right to feel down and seek help for it. Your mum and dad weren’t happy, and you suffered as a result. Clearly, that situation is still impacting you as an adult, which is why you need help. You’re entitled to talk to someone about your issues with confidence. Colleges offer student advisors who can put you in touch with a specialist counsellor, or your doctor can refer you. Counsellors, advisors and doctors aren’t critics—and they’re not judges either. To help and to understand is precisely what they’re there for, and it’s your right to consult them. Please do it now. You owe it to the wonderful woman you’re going to be some day.
Q: I’m really excited for the new season since autumn is my favourite time of year. What’s a fashionable but easy way to incorporate a A/W trend into my work wardrobe?
A: We’re rooting for the return of classic prints. After seasons of over-the-top digitalized patterns, fashion’s A-list is ready to go back to the basics. Think of plaid, pinstripes and houndstooth as the throwback stars for work. Scan through vintage shops for blazers, wide-bottom pants or pencil skirts. Whatever your pick, keep it as simple as possible—classic is a winner for winter!
Style star Solange Knowles makes a daring combination work