101 Things About Men

How to Have the Talk ‘What Are We?’

Cosmopolitan (India) - - MEN & YOU -

One minute you two are lovey­dovey in the street and act­ing like a to­tal cou­ple. The next, he’s giv­ing signs that you may not be as ex­clu­sive as you thought. You de­serve to know if your guy’s go­ing to waste your time. Here’s your three-step plan.

1 Choose the Right Time

Un­for­tu­nately, there isn’t a magic for­mula that de­ter­mines when you should have the talk. But gen­er­ally speak­ing, it’s go time when you get a sense that you two may not be on the same page, and the where-are-we sus­pense is nag­ging at you so freak­ing badly, that it’s all you can think about.

2 Choose the Right Place

Bring it up dur­ing an ac­tive mo­ment, like when mak­ing din­ner to­gether—that way, the ques­tion isn’t the cen­tre of the uni­verse, which eases the in­ten­sity. FYI, fancy din­ners out are a ter­ri­ble idea—the for­mal­ity adds pres­sure, and if the talk doesn’t go well, you’ll both want to leave, but still have to deal with the bill.

3 Choose the Right Words The key is to stick with ope­nended phrases that give him a chance to share his thoughts without forc­ing him into an an­swer. Say, “I’m dat­ing only you right now, and I want to know if we’re in the same place.” If he says he’s down to com­mit, sweet. If he gets all “Uh, I don’t know...,” then it’s time to move on.

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