Cosmopolitan (India) - - YOU, YOU, YOU - by Dale Carnegie

Carnegie’s bi­ble is all about num­bers, and in the game of so­cial suc­cess, it’s all about land­ing the ap­proval of as many peo­ple as you can. Here’s what you need to do:

1. When meet­ing a new guy, never crit­i­cise, con­demn or com­plain about your exes. This puts a dent in your im­age and your date’s self-im­age.

2. Never say, “you’re wrong”. Show re­spect for other peo­ple’s opin­ion. Never, ever dis­agree with some­one with­out know­ing their side.

3. If you are in a lead­er­ship role, al­ways be­gin with praise and hon­est ap­pre­ci­a­tion. Call at­ten­tion to peo­ple’s mis­takes in­di­rectly and give them a chance to save face.

4. Al­ways try to re­mem­ber peo­ple’s names even if you need to carry a small note­book and write down their names when you are alone. It is an im­por­tant step in mak­ing them feel im­por­tant.

5. Try to avoid con­fronta­tions. But if you do get into an ar­gu­ment, try the fol­low­ing—con­trol your tem­per, ig­nore your im­pulse to re­act, and lis­ten to the other per­son, all the while main­tain­ing that you will look at the topic at hand from their per­spec­tive.

6. You need to be a good lis­tener and talk in term’s of the other per­son’s in­ter­ests. Find com­mon ground.

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