Ask Cosmo Anything
From random little issues to major life dramas, we’ve got your back.
Q.I was in a relationship with a guy who physically abused me. I cut him off, but recently, we met by chance and I got an incredible adrenalin rush. I feel I want to see him again. Should I risk it?
A: His emotions are locked in by anger; that’s why he’s abusive. Why fancy the brute? Is it the classic error of thinking you can change him? Does damaged self-respect make you feel you don’t deserve better? Do you mistake his abuse for strength? Cut him off forever. Work out why you find a gorilla attractive, then fix it, so it can’t happen again.
Q: I’ve been with a guy for three years and everything was going well—until I found he was exchanging flirtatious messages with a girl, for instance, “I’d give you a hug but I’m naked, would you mind that?” When I tackled him about it, he apologised and promised to stop. Now I find he’s been messaging another girl in the same way. He says he doesn’t think of it as flirting. How can I be sure it won’t happen again? A:
You can’t be sure it won’t happen again. Not because he’s a soft-porn addict or an online flirt, but because the guy is a liar. He promised he’d stop sending sleazy messages, but didn’t. If you confront him again, there’s every chance it’ll be the same story. Do you really want to take that chance? To enter your future arm-in-arm with a liar? I hope not. We hope you leave him and lock the door behind you.
Q: I work as cabin crew and recently got together with a pilot. It was great, but he’s married, and I think his wife might have seen a text I sent him. He hasn’t even looked at me since. Also, a colleague saw us kissing and told everyone at work. Should I look for a new job? I’ll never get involved with a pilot again. A:
At least you’ve learnt a lesson—the hard way. Getting together with a colleague is unprofessional. And if he’s the one with his hands on the control panel, as the less senior member of staff, you’re the one who usually pays the price. You’ll inevitably be found out and be food for office gossip. Any extramarital affair is potentially flammable. Make yourself do the hardest thing: nothing. Say nothing to anyone, and not one unnecessary word to him. No eye contact, no texts. Give trouble a chance to cool down. Then, if you feel you must find another job, gossip will be less likely to follow you.
Q: Wedge sneakers are everywhere, but they seem tough to pull off. How can I make them work? A:
Wedge sneakers are a huge runway (and celebrity trend) right now. But you’re right, it can be a tricky trend to master. You would do well by pairing them with jeggings, leggings or skinny jeans and a blazer on top. However, if you want to take it a step further, be bold and wear them with a flowy maxi skirt or dress for cool contrast. Really though, it all comes down to your confidence.
Chloe Moretz carries her wedge sneakers well