Ask Cosmo Any­thing

From ran­dom lit­tle is­sues to ma­jor life dra­mas, we’ve got your back.

Cosmopolitan (India) - - YOU, YOU, YOU -

Q. I was out with this guy I’ve been dat­ing and he got drunk and told me he loved me. Did he mean it? I’m so con­fused.

A: Al­co­hol af­fects dif­fer­ent men in dif­fer­ent ways. It slows down the brain’s frontal lobe, which con­trols judg­ment and in­hi­bi­tion. So yes, it is pos­si­ble he was shar­ing feel­ings he didn’t have the guts to ex­press sober. But when guys drink they also be­come sex­u­ally mo­ti­vated. So the L-bomb could just be him sub­con­sciously try­ing to get into your pants. Do you want him to mean what he said? Then ask him if he re­mem­bers what he said and leave the ques­tion open ended. That way he’s likely to share his true thoughts. If he ad­mits say­ing it but doesn’t give an ex­pla­na­tion, ask him point blank if he meant it—it’s blunt but that’s the only way to know. The words did leave his mouth and you have ev­ery right to know if they were le­git.

Q: I’ve been get­ting into a tonne of ar­gu­ments with my par­ents— they keep nag­ging me about some­thing or the other 24/7. I moved out a year ago and they still feel like they need to take de­ci­sions for me like whom I should meet, how I should spend my money etc. How do I get them to stop? A:

It can be frus­trat­ing, but it’s im­por­tant to re­alise where their need to nag is com­ing from. “Parental nag­ging is al­most al­ways about fear—fear that we might make a mis­take that they can’t pro­tect us from, fear that we might choose a path that takes us away from them, that they may lose us or oth­ers might hurt us,” ex­plains re­la­tion­ship ex­pert Susie Tuck­well. So it’s all about ap­proach­ing them in the right way. If your par­ents are good at lis­ten­ing, sit them down and say that it’s time you started mak­ing your own de­ci­sions and that you are will­ing to take the con­se­quences of mak­ing the wrong ones, be­cause that’s the way you’ll learn. Tell them that you ap­pre­ci­ate their ad­vice, and when you want it, you will def­i­nitely ask for it. This shows them that they’re to­tally still needed in your life; just not ev­ery two sec­onds.

Q: I broke up with my ex and now he’s be­ing a com­plete jerk. He’s go­ing around spread­ing ru­mours about me and gen­er­ally mak­ing my life hell. How do I get him to stop? A:

Try and dis­en­gage from him com­pletely—take him off your Face­book list etc. Give him time to lick his wounds—he’s hurt and an­gry. Hope­fully he’ll feel like a git and apol­o­gise even­tu­ally. Don’t in­volve your friends in the drama. It can be good to ap­proach him calmly to find out why he feels the need to say nasty things about you. The worst thing you could do is pro­voke him pub­licly—like on so­cial me­dia, so no mat­ter how tempted you are, do not send out an­gry posts into cy­berspace.

Q: I’ve got a lot of my mother’s plaid out­fits from the ’80s but how do I up­date them for cur­rent times? A:

You’re in luck! Rich tar­tan prints are ma­jorly trend­ing right now. You could mix and match dif­fer­ent plaid prints or opt for a shorts-suit com­bi­na­tion. If you’re look­ing for some­thing more easy go­ing, pair tar­tan pants with a silk shirt and high­top sneak­ers. Our fave: toughen up a dress or kilt with a leather jacket.

Emma Wat­son knows how to make plaid

look chic!

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