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We de­con­struct six of the most com­mon (lame, judge-y, and sim­ply un­true) rea­sons women are told they’re still sin­gle. For years, peo­ple told Shalini that her con­fi­dence and suc­cess made her in­tim­i­dat­ing. No, she wasn’t the CEO of a com­pany—she was a PR c

Cosmopolitan (India) - - LOVE & LUST -

Look­ing for love is con­fus­ing. You’re told that to find it, you should first be happy alone. But if you are con­tent solo, then you’re ‘too in­de­pen­dent’. So you ad­mit that be­ing sin­gle can be lonely...and are in­formed that you reek of des­per­a­tion! Be­fore I met my hus­band, Mark, my sin­gle friends and I would talk about the many the­o­ries of­fered up about why we hadn’t found some­one. They meant well, but now I know they were just wrong (I wasn’t afraid of com­mit­ment; I just hadn’t found the right guy!). I talked to so many women about the clue­less feed­back they hear that I was in­spired to write a book— It’s Not You: 27 (Wrong) Rea­sons You’re Sin­gle. Here’s why the top ‘rea­sons’ usu­ally given for why you’re sin­gle are a bunch of bunk. “My male friends told me my life could scare men away. They said I needed to look more vul­ner­a­ble,”

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