Ed­i­tor’s Let­ter

Cosmopolitan (India) - - EDTIOR'S LETTER -

Hello and Happy Valen­tine’s Month! Whether you’re a be­liever in the roses and din­ners and gen­eral sap­pi­ness that comes with Fe­bru­ary, or are con­vinced V-Day is like a cold (an­noy­ing, but back ev­ery year), it’s im­pos­si­ble not to think about love this time of the year. At Cosmo, we do a lot of that think­ing, es­pe­cially in Feb, where we talk about what makes re­la­tion­ships work, fail, and last. Be­ing a part of th­ese dis­cus­sions means I’m privy to a lot of great in­sider-info on love, mar­riage, and the merry-go-round of dat­ing. So, with all that ex­pe­ri­ence (both re­search-led and real-life-lived), I of­fer you my per­sonal Love Life Rules—my top, trusty tips that I’d put into a book, if I ever wrote one. This is what I’d tell a sis­ter or best friend, and hope you’ll find them use­ful, too! Love life rule 1: PLAY (NICE) GAMES Some women ‘don’t be­lieve in mind games’. I dis­agree. When you were a child, you prob­a­bly used cute talk/emo black­mail/ clever tac­tics to get your mom to buy you that toy. At work, you’ve likely swung deals in your favour by play­ing your cards well. Tech­ni­cally, all th­ese covert ma­neu­vers are ‘games’, but it doesn’t feel like that, no? Truth is, a lit­tle strat­egy is good for your re­la­tion­ship—play­ing hard to get; tak­ing it slow; us­ing a lit­tle jeal­ousy to re­mind him you’re a catch, keeps the ex­cite­ment alive! Love life rule 2: FOR­GET THE NAG­GING Truth: men re­spond bet­ter to pos­i­tive re­in­force­ment than crit­i­cism. Don’t yell at him for not be­ing ro­man­tic, praise the one time when he was. In­stead of bitch­ing about the mi­crowave he bought you, fawn over it so he wants to do bet­ter/more in fu­ture. Love life rule 3: RE­MEM­BER WHO YOU WERE Be­ing in a re­la­tion­ship doesn’t mean you have to turn into that re­la­tion­ship. Your part­ner fell in love with an amaz­ing woman and the life she led, right? Check this list, of­ten: do you still hang with your own friends? Do you still dress up for your­self? Do you still go with­out him? Do you still have your own am­bi­tions, dreams, plans? You get the pic. Love life rule 4: DON’T TAKE SH*T Stuck in an abu­sive/bad re­la­tion­ship? Why? By stay­ing, you are al­low­ing some­one to treat you badly. Love life rule 5: DON’T IG­NORE THE SIGNS A guy can­not sud­denly turn into a jerk. I be­lieve peo­ple show us who they re­ally are right in the be­gin­ning...but some­times, we ig­nore the signs. If he’s rude, self­ish, doesn’t make an ef­fort with your fam and friends, has anger is­sues, a cheat­ing back­ground...why are we sur­prised when he turns out to be not-so won­der­ful? Love life rule 6: CHEAT­ING DOESN’T DE­SERVE A SEC­OND CHANCE Should you stay with a cheater? My an­swer is, no. When some­one cheats, it’s a sign that some­thing’s bro­ken in that re­la­tion­ship. And even if the cheater swears he will never do it again, the dy­nam­ics of your bond have changed for­ever, and things will likely never be the same again. Love life rule 7: LIFE RE­ALLY DOES GO ON Heart­break? We’ve all been there, know it sucks, and have sur­vived. Yet, when it hap­pens again, we be­lieve this is the end, that we just don’t have the strength to stand up and love again. Af­ter see­ing even the most down-and-out friends move on and find bet­ter re­la­tion­ships, the les­son is

this—we are stronger than we think, and this truly will pass.

Lots of love from all of us at Cosmo,

Nan­dini Bhalla, Ed­i­tor

nan­dini.bhalla@in­to­day.com

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from India

© PressReader. All rights reserved.