How to Make Him Bet­ter In Bed

Sneaky tips on how to get your man­friend out of auto-pi­lot mode.

Cosmopolitan (India) - - CONTENTS -

“My boyfriend is great, but some­times he shifts into this au­topi­lot mode in bed,” says Avan­tika, 25. “He pounds so hard and fast that even my el­bows jig­gle.” Sounds like the ex­act op­po­site way you’d want to have sex, right? “Most men have sex the same way they mas­tur­bate,” says Ava Cadell, Ph.D., founder of love­ol­o­gyu­ni­ver­, “and they’ve been pro­grammed from a young age to do it quickly so they don’t get caught.”

Ian Kerner, Ph.D., au­thor of She Comes First, points out that since jack­ham­mer­ing is com­mon in porn, men think that women ac­tu­ally like it. “The ac­tresses in porn are por­trayed as en­joy­ing this sex style, and be­cause it feels good for guys any­way, they’re quick to em­u­late it,” says Kerner. The good news is that the jack­ham­mer con­di­tion is treat­able. “Men take di­rec­tion well,” says Cadell, “so you can steer him with­out crush­ing his ego.”

Man­han­dle Him

The eas­i­est way to thwart a jack­ham­mer is to have sex in a po­si­tion where he’s un­able to hump you like The Sit­u­a­tion in heat. Girl-on-top is one op­tion; another is spooning—with one caveat: “He has more free­dom in this po­si­tion, so to con­trol the pace, grip his pe­nis lightly and say that you want to use it like a sex toy,” sug­gests Kerner.

Be a Bit Hon­est

If you dig a jack­ham­mer-en­abling po­si­tion like mis­sion­ary or doggie style, then you have to speak up. “Be­fore he en­ters you, tell him that it turns you on when he goes slow,” says Cadell. Since you’re not say­ing this in re­sponse to any­thing he’s done yet, he won’t take it per­son­ally. If he sud­denly picks up pace, a line like ‘Go easy on me’ is play­ful enough that it won’t in­sult him, but pointed enough to make him back off.

Strike a Com­pro­mise

In the same way that a cer­tain po­si­tion makes your toes curl, hard and fast feels re­ally damn good for most men. To en­sure that you’re both sat­is­fied, set aside a time when some vig­or­ous thrust­ing is ac­cept­able—like af­ter you’ve al­ready cli­maxed. “Tell him you want to start in your favourite po­si­tion and fin­ish in his,” says Cadell.

The sexy scent was

to­tally in­ten­tional.

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