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LOVE AND LIFE AD­VICE FROM OUR REAL-GIRL PANEL

Cosmopolitan (India) - - ONLY IN COSMO -

I’m the only les­bian in my con­ser­va­tive of­fice. I’m wor­ried if people know I’m gay, I’ll be treated dif­fer­ently. Should I keep this to my­self or be out and proud? “Given the cur­rent le­gal sce­nario in our coun­try, and the fact that your of­fice is a con­ser­va­tive one, we would sug­gest not mix­ing your work life with your per­sonal life if you can help it, be­cause this may lead to prob­lems and leave you vul­ner­a­ble. And it isn’t just be­cause your sex­u­al­ity is dif­fer­ent from those around you, it’s a ba­sic rule of pro­fes­sional life to keep work and per­sonal mat­ters sep­a­rate.” —Son­ali and Alka

Q I’ve never slept with a woman be­fore. I’m wor­ried my in­ex­pe­ri­ence will be ob­vi­ous. Should I be up front about be­ing a new­bie, or just

roll with it? A “Please be hon­est with her! It will make things much eas­ier for the both of you when you know what to ex­pect and what to do. Hon­esty is an im­por­tant part of ex­pe­ri­enc­ing plea­sure. And keep in mind that she, too, was once in­ex­pe­ri­enced. So don’t be shy about it!” —Noor Enayat

I came out to my mom a month ago, and she seemed okay with it. But ev­ery time we talk, she ig­nores the sub­ject. How long should I wait be­fore I say some­thing?

Your mom is prob­a­bly not ‘okay’ with it, and she is hop­ing that this is just a phase in your life. We don’t know your age or fi­nan­cial sit­u­a­tion, but bring up the topic with your mom again, only if you are fi­nan­cially in­de­pen­dent and take care of yourself—and if you feel you’re be­ing treated un­fairly.”

—Sree and Suchan­dra I’m dat­ing a girl who says she’s bi­sex­ual, and I’m wor­ried I am just a phase for her. I’m re­ally into her, but this is al­ways on my mind. Help! “If you re­ally like her, you should give it a shot. All of us have dealt with those mixed feel­ings at some point or the other. Have a lit­tle com­pas­sion for her. And as the say­ing goes, if she is truly yours, she will stay yours.”

—Mon­isha Aj­gaonkar

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