Ask Cosmo Anything
From random little issues to major life dramas, we’ve got your back.
Q.My sister is in an unhealthy relationship that makes me worry about her. She keeps on going back to him, saying she loves him. I can’t watch her make the same mistakes, so what should I do?
A: The most important thing is for you to remain in your sister’s life and not be pushed away, which will happen if you stand between her and her man. You don’t have to pretend to like him, but keep your personal dislike of him to yourself. If your sister feels she must defend their relationship against you, later, when she realises the guy really is a jerk, she won’t come to you for comfort for fear of hearing ‘I told you so’. Be there for her, listen, and continue to help her develop self-worth until she can finally see it for herself.
Q: I’ve been married for just over a year to a loving and caring man. Lately, I feel we’ve been drifting apart and I see him more as a best friend than a husband. I have a crush on a guy at work, and I’ve told my husband about this; I know it hurts him, but I must be honest. Should I pursue my crush or work on my marriage? A:
You say you must be honest with your husband, but have you tried being honest with yourself? The guy at work is a smokescreen. You’re lucky your husband feels like a best friend—it’s a good thing. Friends share honesty; they do not use it as a weapon against each other. If you can’t face the problem together, go for counselling. Get some magic back into your bed; try and learn to cherish your relationship with a loving man. Only after you have worked together to re-heat the relationship on every level; only then, if the chill cannot be lifted, will it be time to part ways.
Q: I just can’t meet a man. I work with children and I volunteer in a place where I don’t get to be with people my own age. I feel ready to look for someone special, but don’t know how to do it. I need inspiration! A:
Make time for a new activity you’ve had at the back of your mind as tempting to try. To do something that excites you means you’ll find others who are excited by it too, and what better way than a shared interest to begin interest in each other? Love also changes with time, so you could try Internet dating. If you do, please keep common sense in control of wishful thinking. While chatting online with someone, remind yourself not to commit heart to any man before you’ve got to know him in person. And when meeting, do so in a public place, and tell a friend.
Q: I’ve been going through trend reports and there’s big talk about tea length dresses. Do they look good on everyone? A:
Dresses with a tea length hemline have serious staying power because they balance out the sexiness of a mini and the comfort of a maxi dress. And yes, they look good on everyone (they’ll lend a Mad Men- esque charm and elegance to your look). If you’re worried about the mid-calf issue, choose a skirt that hits just below the knee instead. Remember, nude heels always work!