Are You His Mother, Boss, or Best Friend?

Does he think of you as his clos­est friend, or cleaner with ben­e­fits? Find out how his view af­fects your re­la­tion­ship.

Cosmopolitan (India) - - CONTENTS -

Take this fun quiz to see if he thinks of you as his bet­ter half, his bestie, or just the girl who cleans up af­ter him!

Af­ter the ex­cite­ment of meet­ing a new man, it’s com­mon to slip into a com­fort zone where you take on a par­tic­u­lar role. And, ac­cord­ing to re­la­tion­ship psy­chol­o­gist Zoe Pearce, the dy­nam­ics we cre­ate are of­ten in­flu­enced by what we ob­serve grow­ing up.

“If your mum was a nur­turer, you may be like that too,” she says. An­other fac­tor is emo­tional re­in­force­ment. “We don’t re­alise it, but we’re re­in­forced by things that hap­pen in our re­la­tion­ship that make us feel good, so we play up to a role we think he likes. Even neg­a­tive be­hav­iour (like nag­ging) that leads to a fight can be re­peated, as any at­ten­tion is of­ten seen as bet­ter than no at­ten­tion.”

What does this mean for you as a cou­ple? Take this quiz to see...

1 You and your boyfriend fancy a weekend away to­gether, so you:

Let him sort out the plan­ning, while you fo­cus on the clothes you need to pack. Ask if there’s any­where in

par­tic­u­lar he has in mind, and then re­search a few dif­fer­ent op­tions.

Pick a des­ti­na­tion, ac­com­mo­da­tion and ac­tiv­i­ties, then spring it on him as a lovely sur­prise.

Book some­where with lots of ac­tion for him and vin­tage mar­kets for you.

2 When you go out to­gether so­cially, you tend to:

Spend the night catch­ing up with friends, while shoot­ing him flir­ta­tious, can’t-wait-to-be-alone-with-you looks.

Let him be the cen­tre of at­ten­tion; he al­ways has funny sto­ries to tell.

Get silly af­ter a few drinks. Good thing he’s the des­ig­nated driver.

Be con­stantly on guard all night in case he drinks too much or starts telling rude jokes.

3 The house­work needs to be done, so you:

Make a start on it with­out ask­ing him for help. You know you do a bet­ter job any­way.

Tell him ex­actly what needs do­ing and when you ex­pect it to be done.

Di­vide and con­quer—he tack­les the dishes, you do the laun­dry.

Ig­nore it un­til he makes a start on it or asks you (nicely) to help.

4 Your boyfriend is vent­ing about his crazy boss. You:

Trou­bleshoot with prac­ti­cal ad­vice and your view on what he could do to fix or im­prove the sit­u­a­tion.

Pa­tiently lis­ten to him rant about how dif­fi­cult he’s find­ing it all, then soothe him with a gen­tle shoul­der rub and a nice cup of tea.

Hope he for­gets about it soon, as his melt­down is in­ter­rupt­ing Two Broke Girls.

Get worked up on his be­half and tell him that he de­serves a bet­ter job.

5 What kind of birth­day gift are you

most likely to get him?

Some­thing fun that he prob­a­bly wouldn’t treat him­self to nor­mally.

A su­per-prac­ti­cal handy gift he can use, such as a new pair of shoes or a fancy cof­fee maker. Some­thing small but thought­ful. A gift that treats both of you, like a deluxe cou­ple’s spa pack­age.

6 You could de­scribe your sex life as:

Sat­is­fy­ing, as he al­ways makes an ef­fort to please you.

Hot—you’re in sync and tuned into what the other per­son likes.

Okay, though some­times you feel like it’s all about him in the bed­room.

Ex­cit­ing: you get a kick out of be­ing in charge and try­ing new things.

7 With­out a doubt, his most an­noy­ing habit is:

Hog­ging all your time—you don’t get to see your friends or do any­thing you like as of­ten as you’d like to.

Mak­ing all the de­ci­sions in your re­la­tion­ship with­out ever ask­ing you for your opin­ion.

Con­ve­niently tun­ing out when­ever you ask him to do some­thing.

Leav­ing wet tow­els on the bed, leav­ing the toi­let seat up, or drink­ing juice straight from the car­ton.

8 Af­ter hav­ing an ar­gu­ment with him, you:

Sulk un­til he buys you flow­ers and chocolates to make it up to you.

Make a bee­line for the bed­room—af­ter all, make-up sex is nor­mally the best sex, right?

Do some­thing nice for him, like cook his favourite meal for din­ner, or give him a mas­sage.

Wait for him to apol­o­gise first, but se­cretly stew for the next week.

No-one could ac­cuse her of look­ing dowdy on ‘clean­ing

day’

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