To Date Before You’re 30
Some guys are meant for co-parenting puppies... others are better for 4am romps. For research purposes, love (and leave) these hook-ups in your 20s.
THE MAN-CHILD The Tortured Musician
As the front man of an after-office band named The Rockers, this guy is unafraid of ‘feeling things’...and into performing oral. But by the time you hit 30, you’ll be sick of his total lack of self-awareness. Some gel and a leather wrist cuff do not Adam Levine make.
The Smouldering Foreigner
In your 20s, it’s totally okay to trump ‘he barely speaks English, and even if he did, we’d have nothing in common’ with ‘he has the shoulders of a gladiator and knows about French wine’. If you pass this guy up when you’re young and silly, you’ll end up obsessing about what you missed.
The Flashy Flash Guy
You can hear the term Bottle Service only so many times before you run screaming from the club, and that probably comes around your 30th birthday. But in your 20s, why not hang with a hot douche in Vuitton shoes who addresses you only as ‘babydoll’ and makes out with you in the VIP room next to the bongo player and fire thrower?
The Older Professor
He should be a silver fox who seems like he could play someone’s worldweary dad in a Wes Anderson movie. While you’re still young enough that his baggage is sexy—not a burden— the seasoned lit professor is where it’s at. Because by the time you’re 30, he’ll be...embalmed.