How to Save Your Re­la­tion­ship In 7 Min­utes

Re­boot­ing a flag­ging re­la­tion­ship of­ten just calls for a quick love fix. Let the count­down be­gin...

Cosmopolitan (India) - - FRONT PAGE -

1 Use his name.

Call­ing your part­ner by his real first name can trig­ger a feel­ing of close­ness that you might not ex­pect. “Of­ten we don’t bother us­ing people’s names, es­pe­cially when they’re around,” says Fuller. “Hear­ing your name spo­ken by a spe­cial some­one is a pre­cious thing, and can make you feel re­ally loved and cared for.”

2 Do one lit­tle thing.

Oc­ca­sion­ally, men need a re­minder that you think they’re awe­some, so let him know by do­ing some­thing out of the or­di­nary, sug­gests Spac­cavento. “It can be a small, sym­bolic ges­ture that only takes a few min­utes,” she says. Use your imag­i­na­tion. Write a poem on a Post-It and hide it some­where un­ex­pected, etc.

3 Show him your tal­ents.

Maybe you’re flu­ent in French, can tw­erk like Mi­ley, sing like a so­prano or can bend yourself into a pret­zel in a yoga pose. Ac­cord­ing to Re­ichen­bach, when your part­ner sees you do­ing some­thing you’re good at, it trig­gers mem­o­ries about just why he ad­mired you so much and fell in love with you in the first place.

4 Be a chameleon.

If you’re feel­ing a dis­con­nec­tion, try subtly mim­ick­ing his body lan­guage. Hu­mans are nat­u­rally drawn to­wards people who share sim­i­lar traits and sub­con­sciously mir­ror them. Known as ‘the chameleon ef­fect’, it’s some­thing we all do to af­fil­i­ate our­selves with oth­ers. “It’s a non-ver­bal way to build trust and grow closer,” says psy­chol­o­gist Mered­ith Fuller.

5 Do the fiveminute phys­i­cal.

You could be sit­ting on the sofa glued to Game Of Thrones with­out so much as a pass­ing ca­ress, kiss or snug­gle. So go ahead and touch him for five min­utes, sug­gests Spac­cavento— tickle his arms, mas­sage his head or cud­dle him. “All that’s re­quired is that for those few min­utes, you are 100 per­cent present in the mo­ment.”

6 Act like long-dis­tance lovers.

Long-dis­tance duos make more of an ef­fort to stay con­nected by talk­ing of­ten. A video chat can cre­ate more mean­ing­ful di­a­logue, ac­cord­ing to sex ther­a­pist and re­la­tion­ship specialist Christina Spac­cavento. “It re­quires you to ac­tu­ally fo­cus on your part­ner,” she says. Just give FaceTime a go.

7 Write up your spat.

Jour­nal­ing what hap­pened in your last fight could be the se­cret to hap­pi­ness. Re­searchers tested the the­ory on 120 cou­ples, and the ones who work­shopped their spats were more loved-up. “Jour­nal­ing can be a great way of clar­i­fy­ing things,” ex­plains Denise Re­ichen­bach, re­la­tion­ship ed­u­ca­tor at Re­la­tion­ships Aus­tralia.

I wish he had a mous­tache like the one on my mug...

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from India

© PressReader. All rights reserved.