How to Save Your Relationship In 7 Minutes
Rebooting a flagging relationship often just calls for a quick love fix. Let the countdown begin...
1 Use his name.
Calling your partner by his real first name can trigger a feeling of closeness that you might not expect. “Often we don’t bother using people’s names, especially when they’re around,” says Fuller. “Hearing your name spoken by a special someone is a precious thing, and can make you feel really loved and cared for.”
2 Do one little thing.
Occasionally, men need a reminder that you think they’re awesome, so let him know by doing something out of the ordinary, suggests Spaccavento. “It can be a small, symbolic gesture that only takes a few minutes,” she says. Use your imagination. Write a poem on a Post-It and hide it somewhere unexpected, etc.
3 Show him your talents.
Maybe you’re fluent in French, can twerk like Miley, sing like a soprano or can bend yourself into a pretzel in a yoga pose. According to Reichenbach, when your partner sees you doing something you’re good at, it triggers memories about just why he admired you so much and fell in love with you in the first place.
4 Be a chameleon.
If you’re feeling a disconnection, try subtly mimicking his body language. Humans are naturally drawn towards people who share similar traits and subconsciously mirror them. Known as ‘the chameleon effect’, it’s something we all do to affiliate ourselves with others. “It’s a non-verbal way to build trust and grow closer,” says psychologist Meredith Fuller.
5 Do the fiveminute physical.
You could be sitting on the sofa glued to Game Of Thrones without so much as a passing caress, kiss or snuggle. So go ahead and touch him for five minutes, suggests Spaccavento— tickle his arms, massage his head or cuddle him. “All that’s required is that for those few minutes, you are 100 percent present in the moment.”
6 Act like long-distance lovers.
Long-distance duos make more of an effort to stay connected by talking often. A video chat can create more meaningful dialogue, according to sex therapist and relationship specialist Christina Spaccavento. “It requires you to actually focus on your partner,” she says. Just give FaceTime a go.
7 Write up your spat.
Journaling what happened in your last fight could be the secret to happiness. Researchers tested the theory on 120 couples, and the ones who workshopped their spats were more loved-up. “Journaling can be a great way of clarifying things,” explains Denise Reichenbach, relationship educator at Relationships Australia.
I wish he had a moustache like the one on my mug...