Man thro pol o gy

Let’s start with what he’s not say­ing: your name. At least in the early stages of dat­ing, guys will re­fer to you only with ep­i­thets like El­e­va­tor Girl, Yoga Girl, or Face­book Girl. Af­ter that, ev­ery­thing is con­text-spe­cific. Here’s what he’s say­ing about

Cosmopolitan (India) - - CONTENTS -

Your (ul­ti­mate) guide to un­der­stand­ing the male brain.

…HE’S BE­ING SCHMOOPY

Some­times we do share our feel­ings. This

could get us mocked. “My friends made fun of me for how of­ten I men­tioned a girl,” says Manav, 23, a film edi­tor. “At that point, I flipped to ma­cho pos­tur­ing: ‘Oh, like you wouldn’t hook up with her?!’” It’s true: we still haven’t left ninth grade.

…HE’S NOT INTO THE SEX

Trick cat­e­gory! This never re­ally

hap­pens. Un­less a sex move lands us in the ER, we think ev­ery woman’s good in bed. Writer Chris, 33, evokes the clas­sic metaphor: “Sex is like pizza, and there’s no bad pizza. That’s be­cause men don’t need emo­tion to or­gasm; we just need fric­tion.”

…HE’S SMIT­TEN

“I think she’s The One,” says no guy, ever. Men don’t talk like that un­less they’re Ryan Gosling in a rom- com. If we have strong feel­ings for some­one, we’ll say al­most noth­ing. So if you bump into one of his friends who hasn’t heard much about you, it’s not ( nec­es­sar­ily) a deal breaker.

…IT’S JUST A HOOKUP

Brace yourself: I won’t sug­ar­coat this. “I’d say some­thing like, ‘She gives amaz­ing oral sex’,” says Jaideep, 32, a con­sul­tant. He quickly clarifies, “That’s meant as a com­pli­ment. I’d be ec­static if a girl said I was an oral-sex champ. But I wouldn’t say any­thing vul­gar if there was long-term po­ten­tial.”

…HE CHEATED

De­pends on the guy. If he’s guilt- rid­den, he’ll say some­thing like, “Shit, I re­ally

screwed up,” and un­bur­den his guilt over a beer ( or many). If he’s less sen­si­tive, he’ll make it about what the girl did wrong (“she doesn’t do it for me any­more”).

…ANY­THING BAD WHAT­SO­EVER HAP­PENS IN THE RE­LA­TION­SHIP

“She’s crazy, man,” Dhruv, 31, a mu­si­cian, ad­mits to hav­ing said. Men love this line. It’s the Swiss Army knife of re­la­tion­ship talk. Most of the time, it’s a way to avoid the fact that

he may be at fault too. Ad­mit­ting that would cross the line into ther­apy.

‘Cool moves,

bro.’

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from India

© PressReader. All rights reserved.