Ask Cosmo Any­thing

From ran­dom lit­tle is­sues to ma­jor life dra­mas, we’ve got your back.

Cosmopolitan (India) - - CONTENTS -

Q.My boyfriend of six months ended it by text, say­ing he was too old for me. He was 32 and I’m 20. I think it was just a lame ex­cuse as we were get­ting on fine, even though he never acted like a real boyfriend; we didn’t do things to­gether. He was my first sex­ual part­ner. I feel used and can’t get over him.

A:

It isn’t only women who fear the 30year thresh­old: men do too. His anx­i­ety about be­ing 30-plus might have been eased by at­tract­ing a young vir­gin. But it’s likely he be­gan to worry that his mates would tease him as a cradlesnatcher—so he would only meet you pri­vately, al­most se­cretly. To be hon­est, you two didn’t re­ally get on fine: you just had sex. Then, too guilty or em­bar­rassed to con­front you, he broke it off with a cow­ardly text. Be­lieve it or not, six months of a not-quite re­la­tion­ship, even though it was your first, is a drop in the ocean of your life. Give it two weeks for ev­ery month you were to­gether to re­cover. Then you’ll find you’re stronger than you were be­fore.

Q: I lost my vir­gin­ity at 18 and have only had sex twice since— both one-night stands. I’ve never given a blow job, tried doggy style, or had an or­gasm. I’m des­per­ate for a boyfriend, but who wants to date a 27-year-old who’s prac­ti­cally still a vir­gin? A:

Not all men are scan­ning the room for porn queens and sex god­desses. A lot of them—more than you think—are un­nerved by overt sex­ual con­fi­dence. They worry their best ef­forts won’t even reg­is­ter on some women’s sex-o-me­ter, never mind ‘ring her bell’. All as­sump­tions—sex­ual or oth­er­wise—are sim­ply guesses, not to be con­fused with facts. Your in­ex­pe­ri­ence might make you feel un­de­sir­able, but it’s not fact. That aside, your sex­ual past is pri­vate: you don’t have to tell all on the first date—or ever. His­tory’s his­tory.

Q: My boyfriend of four years used to do drugs, but now he’s re­placed it with al­co­hol. I don’t want to give up on him—sadly, his fam­ily doesn’t care much. He won’t talk about it; only ex­cuses and apolo­gies. He’s short of money but wouldn’t be if he drank less. How can I help? A:

He’s drink­ing not for plea­sure but in a bid to dull an in­ner pain. And drink­ing in ex­cess, like drugs, cre­ates a pain all of its own; a self-de­struc­tive pat­tern that en­tices him to drink more and more. Mean­while, the deep­est pain, the one within him­self that started his drink­ing, re­mains. It’s only by fac­ing that orig­i­nal pain that he will be able to heal him­self and put aside the bot­tle. He’s blessed to have you, as his fam­ily doesn’t care. Be there for him and ask him to join groups like Al­co­holics Anony­mous, where they work with peo­ple with a drink­ing prob­lem.

Q: I’ve seen a lot of celebs do the socks-and-shoes trend, but don’t know how to work it... A:

The socks-with-san­dals trend has the po­ten­tial to range from stylish to silly. To avoid the lat­ter, pair solid-hued socks with pumps or an­kle boots (see Tay­lor Swift), or team your boyfriend jeans with socks un­der strappy shoes. When in doubt, work the safe op­tion—black trouser socks with clas­sic stilet­tos.

Take socks-with-shoes lessons from Tay­lor Swift, Rita Ora, Ri­hanna and Alex Bake

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