I have a re­la­tion­ship prob­lem that keeps re­peat­ing it­self. When­ever I’m at­tracted to some­one, they al­ways treat me badly, and when­ever some­one is at­tracted to me, I don’t find them at­trac­tive. Even if I give them a go, it never works. What can I do?

Cosmopolitan (India) - - YOU, YOU, YOU -

A:

A prob­lem re­peats it­self when its source is inside, and car­ried along by, the trou­bled per­son. Some­thing within you makes you be­lieve you’re not wor­thy of love, driv­ing you to choose guys who re­in­force that prob­lem, and to re­ject any­one who might help heal you. Please, put re­la­tion­ships aside for now. Fo­cus on your­self. To iden­tify the cause of your dam­aged self-es­teem—and to cure it— pro­fes­sional coun­selling could be use­ful. Mean­while, re­store a dream or an am­bi­tion you’ve ne­glected—or choose a new one. Set free the con­fi­dent and achiev­ing woman inside you. Then you will be able to at­tract—and be at­tracted to—the sen­si­tive part­ner you de­serve.

Q: I’m re­cently mar­ried. My par­ents live sev­eral hours away but my in-laws are prac­ti­cally next door. When my par­ents visit, of­ten just for a night, my in-laws in­vite us all out for din­ner. How can I make them un­der­stand that time with my par­ents is pre­cious? A:

Be­ware! The ice un­der a brand-new daugh­ter-in-law can be very thin for some

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