My boyfriend was my support when I came out of an abusive relationship. Now I’m really happy, but his mum clearly doesn’t approve of me—she’s not at all welcoming. I’ve tactfully broached this with my boyfriend and he thinks I’m being silly. I love him, b
Two women who love the same man is a problem, even if one is his mother. She’s losing her boy to you, and her body language expresses emotions that are still locked in the nursery. So you must be the adult. Bite your tongue. Never force your boyfriend to choose sides; if you do, war begins. Think of her as you would of a new work colleague. Ask her about herself and her life. And ask her for advice about areas of your life that are not connected to him. Try to make his sympathetic relatives your allies. Given time and attention, his mum will come to see you as a friend, not as the other woman.
Q: I am seeing a man who’s good-looking, has a lovely personality, and a good job. I enjoy his company, but there’s no chemistry and he never makes a move. I’ve given him chances to see if he’s shy, but I feel as if I’m leading him on. Why does this perfect guy just
do it for (and with) me?
It sounds as if the issue is more his than yours. Men generally find it harder than us to discuss problems (especially sexual ones). Whatever his age or appearance, maybe he’s a virgin waiting for the love of his life? Or gay and afraid to come out? Or worries about his prowess in bed? Maybe he even has a girlfriend—or fears being compared to your previous boyfriends? You two need to talk more than you need sex. Try to lead him into talking about his inhibitions. Listen with concern for him. If you can’t manage that, then back away and maybe he’ll explain himself. If not, you haven’t lost very much, have you?
Q: I’ve been seeing someone for several years. He’s kind and generous, but I’m bored. We argue because I’m not happy, and I don’t fancy him anymore. My friends tell me I’ll never meet anyone who loves me as much. Should I be content to have someone who loves me even though I feel unfulfilled? A:
Boredom takes two: one to be bored and one to be boring. It can be relieved by either side. Forget your friends; do you feel this relationship is worth working on? If yes, why not try to change things? Arrange projects, tickets for fun events, and surprises for when you go out together. Plan a holiday. Bring sexy strategies of your own to bed. If your attempts fail and the boredom continues, or if you believe this relationship is simply not worth the effort, kiss him goodbye. And next time you find someone who loves you, hopefully, he’ll be someone you love too.
Q: How do I work this season’s military trend? A:
To be a one-woman fashion army, simply wear something khaki or green. You could also try a parka coat or aviator jacket, or clunky boots with chains. Extra points for teaming your military outfit with something floral, like at Vivienne W.