I can’t stop think­ing about my hus­band’s sex­ual his­tory. I keep bom­bard­ing him with ques­tions. He says he slept with lots of women be­fore me and has even had a three­some, which re­ally up­sets me and makes me feel sick. I can’t stop ask­ing him about it and

Cosmopolitan (India) - - YOU, YOU, YOU -

A:

Un­jus­ti­fied and chronic sex­ual jeal­ousy has a nasty way of cre­at­ing its own rea­son to ex­ist. Be­cause even an in­no­cent guy of­ten fig­ures if he’s go­ing to have to take the nag­ging and ac­cu­sa­tions any­way, why not earn them? Your hus­band ended his hec­tic love life when he met you. That’s a com­pli­ment. And his ex­pe­ri­ence also makes the re­grets and cu­rios­ity that can push in­ex­pe­ri­enced part­ners off the rails less likely. Take your imag­i­na­tion to bed with him, and stop wast­ing it on the past. Fo­cus on the sex­ual chem­istry that the two of you share—not on his sex­ual his­tory with his pre­vi­ous part­ners. As for the three­some that up­sets you, could it be your own frus­trated cu­rios­ity? Ei­ther way, let it go.

Q: I’m 24 and my boyfriend of five years broke up with me about three months ago. I don’t want him back but how do I get over him? We live in the same town and I found out he slept with some­one just three weeks af­ter our break-up. I feel hurt and worth­less. I’m plan­ning a trip to Australia and Thai­land in a few months, but un­til then, what do I do? How do I get my mind off him? A:

Delete his texts and e-mails, and bin any pho­tos of him. Cul­ti­vate a lit­tle heal­ing anger too. Stick to a su­pe­rior smile and nod if you bump into the jerk, and let him won­der why. Have you thought about chang­ing your look? A new hair­style has been known to help change the mind un­der it. Fo­cus on the fab places you’ll be vis­it­ing—free­dom to see the big, beau­ti­ful world is a bless­ing. Plus you’ll meet great new peo­ple along the way.

Q: I’ve been with a guy for three years and ev­ery­thing was go­ing well—un­til I found he was ex­chang­ing flir­ta­tious mes­sages with a girl, re­ply­ing to her, for in­stance, ‘I’d give you a hug but I’m naked, would you mind that?’ When I ques­tioned him about it he apol­o­gised and promised to stop. Now I find he’s been mes­sag­ing an­other girl in the same way. He says he doesn’t think of it as flirt­ing. How can I be sure it won’t hap­pen again? A:

You can’t be sure it won’t hap­pen again. Not be­cause he’s a soft-porn ad­dict or an on­line flirt, but be­cause the guy is a liar. He promised he’d stop send­ing sleazy mes­sages, but he didn’t. If you con­front him again there’s ev­ery chance it’ll be the same story. Do you re­ally want to take that chance? To en­ter your fu­ture arm-in-arm with a liar? We hope not. We hope you leave him and lock the door be­hind you.

Q: I’ve no­ticed there’s a lot of ging­ham around this fash­ion sea­son. Aren’t checks a lit­tle old fash­ioned? A:

No way—es­pe­cially if done in a 2015 way. Checks were ma­jor on the run­ways, from suave suits at Al­tuzarra to the cutest tops at Proenza Schouler. For a mod­ern ver­sion of this retro print, add ging­ham to this-sea­son sil­hou­ettes, like a chic pen­cil skirt or the so-popular crop top.

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