I can’t stop thinking about my husband’s sexual history. I keep bombarding him with questions. He says he slept with lots of women before me and has even had a threesome, which really upsets me and makes me feel sick. I can’t stop asking him about it and
Unjustified and chronic sexual jealousy has a nasty way of creating its own reason to exist. Because even an innocent guy often figures if he’s going to have to take the nagging and accusations anyway, why not earn them? Your husband ended his hectic love life when he met you. That’s a compliment. And his experience also makes the regrets and curiosity that can push inexperienced partners off the rails less likely. Take your imagination to bed with him, and stop wasting it on the past. Focus on the sexual chemistry that the two of you share—not on his sexual history with his previous partners. As for the threesome that upsets you, could it be your own frustrated curiosity? Either way, let it go.
Q: I’m 24 and my boyfriend of five years broke up with me about three months ago. I don’t want him back but how do I get over him? We live in the same town and I found out he slept with someone just three weeks after our break-up. I feel hurt and worthless. I’m planning a trip to Australia and Thailand in a few months, but until then, what do I do? How do I get my mind off him? A:
Delete his texts and e-mails, and bin any photos of him. Cultivate a little healing anger too. Stick to a superior smile and nod if you bump into the jerk, and let him wonder why. Have you thought about changing your look? A new hairstyle has been known to help change the mind under it. Focus on the fab places you’ll be visiting—freedom to see the big, beautiful world is a blessing. Plus you’ll meet great new people along the way.
Q: I’ve been with a guy for three years and everything was going well—until I found he was exchanging flirtatious messages with a girl, replying to her, for instance, ‘I’d give you a hug but I’m naked, would you mind that?’ When I questioned him about it he apologised and promised to stop. Now I find he’s been messaging another girl in the same way. He says he doesn’t think of it as flirting. How can I be sure it won’t happen again? A:
You can’t be sure it won’t happen again. Not because he’s a soft-porn addict or an online flirt, but because the guy is a liar. He promised he’d stop sending sleazy messages, but he didn’t. If you confront him again there’s every chance it’ll be the same story. Do you really want to take that chance? To enter your future arm-in-arm with a liar? We hope not. We hope you leave him and lock the door behind you.
Q: I’ve noticed there’s a lot of gingham around this fashion season. Aren’t checks a little old fashioned? A:
No way—especially if done in a 2015 way. Checks were major on the runways, from suave suits at Altuzarra to the cutest tops at Proenza Schouler. For a modern version of this retro print, add gingham to this-season silhouettes, like a chic pencil skirt or the so-popular crop top.