Help! Lazi­ness pulls me down

life­coach

Hindustan Times (Delhi) - HT Education - - News - JI TENDRA NA G PA L

I am 16. Ev­ery­one says I am very in­tel­li­gent and knowl­edge­able etc. My fam­ily and teach­ers say that I am ca­pa­ble of achiev­ing a lot in life. But I am ex­tremely lazy by na­ture. Could you please help me get or­gan­ised and man­age my time bet­ter?

—Sandeep You are ac­tu­ally go­ing through the “wear and tear” ex­pe­ri­ence. Lazi­ness can be a re­sult of some stress or ten­sion that might be trou­bling you.

Also, you need to ac­knowl­edge cer­tain facts. As a pos­i­tive in­flu­ence, any stress can help mo­ti­vate us to act. As a neg­a­tive in­flu­ence, it can re­sult in feel­ings lead­ing to health prob­lems such as lack of sleep, mood swings, in­di­ges­tion, ab­dom­i­nal cramps, neck ache, and back­ache.

You need to man­age your time ef­fi­ciently. Plan at least sev­eneight hours of rest­ful sleep to en­hance your con­cen­tra­tion level. In­cor­po­rate enough phys­i­cal ac­tiv­ity in your daily rou­tine. Take a healthy diet — in­clude green leafy veg­eta­bles, salads and pulses. Avoid oily stuff and junk food.

You are a bright stu­dent and I am sure you will ex­cel in what­ever field you work in. Best wishes. My younger sis­ter, 14, has de­vel­oped the habit of ly­ing. She is be­com­ing ag­gres­sive and has even gone to the ex­tent of be­ing vi­o­lent with us. My par­ents have tried to dis­ci­pline her by scold­ing her but there is no change in her. What should I do?

—A con­fused sib­ling Your con­cern seems quite re­al­is­tic. En­ter­ing ado­les­cence can be quite over­whelm­ing and this might be her way of deal­ing with it. She might be ly­ing be­cause she feels a need to lie. This could be be­cause she is not able to trust peo­ple around her or be­cause she fears be­ing dis­ap­proved by her fam­ily. She might also be em­u­lat­ing the act of dis­re­spect­ing her el­ders from other mem­bers of the fam­ily. At this age, there is a cer­tain re­sent­ment to adult au­thor­ity. This is nat­u­ral, but it has to be con­tained.

Ask your sis­ter to con­fide in you. Show her af­fec­tion and un­der­stand­ing. Try to be her friend rather than an older brother. Give her a set of rules that are rea­son­able. Treat her like a grown-up. Talk to her about how you felt the same way when you were young but even­tu­ally re­alised your mis­takes. Con­sis­tently dis­ci­plin­ing her harshly is coun­ter­pro­duc­tive. Be­sides this, seek­ing help of a psy­chol­o­gist is bet­ter to plan an ef­fec­tive ther­apy. Theau­tho­risas­e­nior­con­sul­tant psy­chi­a­trist­with­MoolchandMed­c­ity andVimhans,NewDelhi.Send­him ane­mailaththo­ri­zons@hin­dus­tan­times.com,marked‘Dr­Nag­pal’

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