It’s OK to not score straight ‘As’

Ev­ery child can­not get a dis­tinc­tion, and it is im­por­tant to re­mem­ber that there is a world out­side aca­demics as well

Hindustan Times (Delhi) - HT Education - - Front Page - Samir Parikh

So­ci­ety places a very high pre­mium on aca­demic per­for­mance. The sce­nario to­day is that the marks your child gets de­fines not just who she or he is but also who you are. It is, how­ever, not pos­si­ble for ev­ery child to get a dis­tinc­tion, and it is im­por­tant to re­mem­ber that there is a world out­side aca­demics as well. There are a few points we need to keep in mind.

your child’s dif­fi­culty: There are many rea­sons for chil­dren to not do well aca­dem­i­cally. Rather than dis­miss­ing them as be­ing dis­in­ter­ested, un­der­stand what it is that is caus­ing these aca­demic dif­fi­cul­ties. Is it at­ten­tion prob­lem, pro­cess­ing dif­fi­culty or some emo­tional dis­tress?.

lim­i­ta­tions: Ev­ery child can’t get 95% in ev­ery sub­ject ev­ery time. We all have our strengths and weak­nesses. Ac­cept your chil­dren’s lim­i­ta­tions, iden­tify their strengths and help them reach their po­ten­tial.

ad­di­tional time to help your child: For some teens, hav­ing a par­ent around can help them study. Do not hover but be around for them. Help them un­der­stand con­cepts they might be hav­ing dif­fi­cul­ties with. Also set some rules and bound­aries.

other av­enues of in­ter­est: For teenagers with aca­demic dif­fi­cul­ties, their sense of self­worth of­ten takes a beat­ing amidst all the neg­a­tive criticism. It is im­por­tant for them to take up other ac­tiv­i­ties they can ex­cel in and be recog­nised for.

pos­i­tive strokes: Due to the feed­back they re­ceive, teens of­ten get de­mo­ti­vated and avoid stud­ies al­to­gether. As a par­ent, ac­knowl­edge the ef­forts your child is putting in.

to your child about his or her dif­fi­cul­ties: Aca­demic prob­lems can have so­cial and emo­tional con­se­quences. Be a friend to your chil­dren and talk to them about the dif­fi­cul­ties they are fac­ing, with­out judge­ment or rep­ri­mand.

in reg­u­lar touch with the teach­ers: In the case of students with aca­demic prob­lems, it is im­por­tant for par­ents and teach­ers to be on the same page. Rather than en­gag­ing in blame games, re­mem­ber that you both want the best for the child. Keep in touch with your child’s teach­ers and tackle the dif­fi­cul­ties to­gether.

not burden your child with ex­pec­ta­tions: It is nat­u­ral for par­ents to have as­pi­ra­tions for and ex­pec­ta­tions from their chil­dren. How­ever, it can be very dam­ag­ing for a child to feel that he/she dis­ap­pointed their par­ents. Don’t put the ex­tra pres­sure in the form of your ex­pec­ta­tions on the young soul.

your child’s suc­cess: It is sad that it is al­ways the mis­takes that are high­lighted and dwelt upon. Things would dras­ti­cally change for the bet­ter if we were to give the same, if not more, im­por­tance to the things our chil­dren did well in.

ev­ery child is unique: There’s no sin­gle def­i­ni­tion of the per­fect in­di­vid­ual. We all dif­fer not just in our skills and ap­ti­tudes, but in our am­bi­tions and ide­olo­gies as well. Re­spect and cel­e­brate your child’s unique­ness.

IMAGESBAZAAR

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