‘He owes you a clo­sure’

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Variety - cyrus@hin­dus­tan­times.com And I’ll give you some re­lief…. err… that is, pro­vided, I’m not do­ing a head­stand at the time

I was in a re­la­tion­ship with my home tu­tor. He pro­posed to me in March. Re­cently, my par­ents saw a note which I had writ­ten that in­di­cated some­thing was go­ing on be­tween us. He broke up with me af­ter that. He had al­ways warned me to be care­ful of such things. A few days back, I met with an ac­ci­dent, and he helped me be­cause my par­ents were out of town. I spoke to him in the hos­pi­tal and apol­o­gised at least 100 times. But he was not will­ing to for­give me. I sent him a Face­book mes­sage and he didn’t re­ply. Is there a way to find out if he misses me or if he has read my Face­book mes­sage? SS SS, there is noth­ing wrong with two con­sent­ing adults, with a full set of teeth each, hav­ing a re­la­tion­ship, phys­i­cal or oth­er­wise. Let me guess he was the ... err... the chem­istry tu­tor? Clan­des­tine, re­la­tion­ships have been around even be­fore the word ‘clan­des­tine’ was dis­cov­ered. The prob­lem here is that he seems to have pan­icked more than you. SS, I guar­an­tee, he has read your mes­sage. But he owes you a clo­sure, and you de­serve a proper ex­pla­na­tion of where you stand. Re­quest a meet­ing and if it is de­nied, hire him as a tu­tor again, and this time you do the tu­tor­ing. Teach­ers shouldn’t just preach and then quit the prac­tice, you know.

I like a girl that I see dur­ing my morn­ing walks. She is 22 and I’m 18. Since I am younger, she doesn’t want to get into a re­la­tion­ship. Even if she gets into a re­la­tion­ship with me, I can’t marry her be­cause of this age thing. Please help. SJ

SJ, re­mem­ber what Plato said to his cousin Tribu­lius, who, too, wanted to marry a girl he had seen in a public bath, (Greek so­ci­ety then al­lowed men and women to bathe to­gether, this prac­tice is back in Greece to­day, but that’s be­cause of the eco­nomic cri­sis caus­ing wa­ter short­age). Plato said, ‘Cuer­tus Lopp’. This means, ‘She doesn’t use soap’. My point is, women aren’t pi­geons. You can’t go to a park, say you like a par­tic­u­lar pi­geon, and take a girl home. No harm fall­ing in love, but it counts when love flows both ways. A guy used to like me for three years. But re­cently, he didn’t ac­cept my Face­book friend re­quest. It’s pos­si­ble that he found out that I am from a lower caste. Do you think he doesn’t like me be­cause of this??

Jane Doe Jane Doe, you are ask­ing me im­pos­si­ble ques­tions. You might as well ask me

to name Justin Bieber’s top 10 hits or all the letters in San­skrit lan­guage. If he loved you for three years and sud­denly stopped there, there could be a mil­lion ex­pla­na­tions. I’ll list about 5,00,000 for you: (a) he found some­one else, (b) he’s in a coma, (c) he’s joined a cult, (d) he’s been named by Lalit Modi. The list is huge. How­ever, if he’s scorned your re­quest, and has is­sues with your caste, then please treat him like the de­spi­ca­ble, big­oted nar­row-minded me­dieval per­son that he is, and for­get he ever ex­isted.

I’ve been in a re­la­tion­ship for six years. Re­cently, I checked my part­ner’s chats and found out that he was talk­ing to three girls. One of them was his ex. When I asked him, he said he chats just to kill time. He even said sorry. Now, I can’t trust him. What should I do? A0

Well, un­for­tu­nately you are not al­lowed to kick him in his pos­te­rior. Although I can’t think of a rea­son why you should be de­nied this op­tion. We live in such cruel times! You need to teach him a les­son. Why don’t you try the same dance? Start chat­ting with some boys. Old or new — it doesn’t mat­ter. If he needs girl sup­port from the out­side, he can­not deny you the same. Let’s see how he feels when you start get­ting real pop­u­lar. Let the game be­gin!

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