Best re­venge is to ig­nore

just write to un­cle Cy

Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Variety - cyrus@hin­dus­tan­times.com And I’ll give you some re­lief…. err… that is, pro­vided, I’m not do­ing a head­stand at the time

I was in a re­la­tion­ship for 20 months. She cheated on me and we broke up. It took me six months to come out of it. A year later, a girl in my of­fice pro­posed to me. Af­ter a month, she said that she loves me but can’t live with me be­cause of some­thing that I had said to her. I apol­o­gised a 100 times, but she didn’t for­give me. I miss her a lot. What do I do?

VP VP, Wasn’t it Jim Mor­ri­son who said “I’ve al­ways been a words man bet­ter than a birds man?” And this was well be­fore his al­lergy to chicken was even dis­cov­ered. Since I see you are putting your hand up, I can tell you haven’t fol­lowed my point. Well I didn’t ei­ther. Luck­ily I’ve writ­ten it down, be­fore we both go and blame it on Jim Mor­ri­son. VP my good friend who I’ve never met, your whole sit­u­a­tion hangs on one thing, and one thing alone. What ex­actly did you say to her? Did you call her a weewee? Did you say she re­minded you of her mother? Looks fat in that dress? Can see all three chins? Did you com­pare her to a blue whale? To undo what you have done is ob­vi­ously go­ing to take more than an apol­ogy. Think big, put to­gether a few of her favourite things, like her favourite movie, mu­sic, food and, even bet­ter, get her to meet her favourite per­son­al­ity. You need a big ges­ture to get over your big in­sult. Re­mem­ber what Michael Jor­dan says, “Size al­ways mat­ters”. And next time watch who you call a whale! I’m 20, a bit shy and in­tro­vert. I want to fall in love with some­one. But, more than love, I need a phys­i­cal re­la­tion­ship. Should I get into a phys­i­cal re­la­tion­ship with some­one I trust? If yes, how? If no, why? -Khush­boo Khush­boo, just an in­no­cent ques­tion? Just a thought I want to throw out there? Just an old penny for your thought? Er…. who told you that you need to have a phys­i­cal re­la­tion­ship? And here’s the big one, who the hell told you that I should de­cide whether you need a phys­i­cal re­la­tion­ship? You are suf­fer­ing from what the an­cient Phoeni­cians called “Atta booh”! This means you are in love with the con­cept of love. It’s the same thing as say­ing that be­cause you love fur, you wear fur coats in the sum­mer? So, be kind to an­i­mals and say no to fur. That’s re­ally the an­swer. Oh yes, and the fact that you need to fall in love or at least lust, be­fore you en­ter a re­la­tion­ship, phys­i­cal or oth­er­wise. Why? Be­cause this whole sys­tem only works when the other party is both alive and agree­able. Re­ally, you ask too many ques­tions. Af­ter my breakup two months back, I have started lik­ing one of my friends. I even pro­posed to her, but she’s wor­ried of the im­pli­ca­tions; my ex is her friend. Re­cently, I asked her out. She came with my ex-girl­friend and gave me a long speech. And in front of my ex, she re­jected my pro­posal. Now, I want to take re­venge. What should I do? Ace My one word an­swer to your long ex­as­per­at­ing ques­tion is, don’t. Okay that’s too lit­tle an an­swer, I’m chang­ing it to please don’t! The woman brought your ex girl­friend along and then pushed your head into it. The word hu­mil­i­a­tion springs to mind. Fol­lowed by its brother, shame. Their sis­ter, an­guish. Their first cousin, (from the fathers side), tor­ture. So, please spare their dis­tant cousins, self-re­spect, and dig­nity, (I think dig­nity is the older one), and stop in­ter­act­ing with her. The best re­venge is to ig­nore. It’s how elected lead­ers take re­venge on their elec­torates, in a democ­racy! Kindly do the same.

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