Hindustan Times (Patna) - Live - - Variety -

I am 29, and I’m see­ing a sin­gle mother of a teenage girl, who 13 years older than me. We were col­leagues. Now, af­ter be­ing to­gether for three years, she in­sists we should con­tinue only as friends. She wants me to get mar­ried and set­tle down with some­one else. She thinks our re­la­tion­ship doesn’t have a name and that I am wast­ing my time. What should I do?

DD Love and Math have al­ways been a prob­lem. Num­bers just don’t seem to mix with ro­mance. My good friend Shab­bir left his wife as her fig­ure af­ter nine years of mar­riage had blos­somed into a 34/44/46, which made him look like his wife’s teenage son. So in your case, Dou­ble D, she is 42 you are 29. This means when you’ll be 104, and she’ll be 117. What I’m try­ing to say is all this num­ber talk is point­less. It’s just an ex­cuse. She wants to ei­ther get rid of you, or wants you very badly, but needs you to reas

sure her about

your deep love for her. I’ve been see­ing a nice girl for the past one and a half years. I love her, as do my friends. But she’s too de­pen­dent on me, which kind of bugs me. And she’s a lit­tle too cheesy. It makes me re­think the whole re­la­tion­ship some­times. Should I con­tinue dat­ing her?

PG PG, in to­day’s day and age, it’s not easy to get a girl to love you. Be­lieve me, I’ve tried. So, if her only real fault is de­pen­dence, there are worse ones like a woman who’ll grow a beard just to spite her spouse, who can’t seem to grow his. Ming Chan, the Han Dy­nasty Gen­eral, in his book Don’t Eat Carbs Be­tween Wars, says that in ev­ery re­la­tion­ship, one is more de­pen­dant on another. He was de­pen­dent on Bri­gadier Ban-Teng him­self, who ar­rived late with re­in­force­ments in the Bat­tle of Yang-Tse, lead­ing to Ming Chan’s un­timely demise. Please don’t use this as an ex­cuse. As for cheesy, have you seen our coun­try, man? We in­vented cheesy! I was in re­la­tion­ship for five years. But sud­denly, things started chang­ing. She be­gan plan­ning fur­ther stud­ies in another state, and broke up with me. She said her par­ents will not ac­cept me. I love her and she loves me too. But, I don’t know why she is be­hav­ing like this. AM AM, if you re­fer to my poem, Com­mu­ni­cat­ing with Pi­geons on a Tues­day af­ter­noon, you will find your an­swer. You have a fve-year-long re­la­tion­ship. She is sud­denly get­ting cold feet. If you both re­ally love each other, you and I have the same prob­lem I had with my pet pi­geon, “Mr Bak­shi”, in the above men­tioned Poem. I told ‘Mr Bak­shi’ to look out, as a hawk was stalk­ing him. Mr Bak­shi heard a ‘Stork was mock­ing him’. Long story short, the hawk ate Mr Bak­shi, and I had to con­tinue the last two stan­zas of the poem with another pi­geon, ‘Mr Sri­vas­tava’. Ba­si­cally, if you love each other, com­mu­ni­cate. She needs to be clearer on what her is­sues are. Don’t be­come Mr Bak­shi. Talk. Go to and fro. Pro and cons. Get both sides out there. I’ve been dat­ing a guy for the past four years. Lately, I have be­gun to like some­one else. I seem to have fallen in love with him. He is much bet­ter than my boyfriend in terms of in­tel­li­gence, but is not as good look­ing as him. He’s a lit­tle self-cen­tred too. I don’t want to take the first step and pro­pose to him and I don’t want to cheat on my boyfriend ei­ther. I am re­ally very, very con­fused. What should I do?

CON­FUSED SOUL Con­fused Soul, here’s some news! You are al­ready dat­ing the new guy. You’ve gone for three movies with him, re­mem­ber? My wife and I are mar­ried for 14 years now. And we’ve only gone to two movies. For choos­ing one over the other, you could weigh them in gold, and date the heav­ier one. You could ask them to write a com­po­si­tion on you, and de­cide on that per­for­mance. I per­son­ally would go for the one who can cook or clean, but you are not me. I sug­gest that you go out of town for a day, and just try to ex­plore which one you miss more. That’s the one for you. And the other, you can keep for out of town. Par­ents don’t come into the pic­ture, till well af­ter you’ve made your choice.

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